The Hazards of Happiness & Achieving Your Dreams

Written by Robin Thompson on February 5, 2019. Posted in Blog, Business Development, Leadership, Personal Development.

Creating happiness can cause a lot of problems. Achieving your dreams can sometimes feel like a letdown. You spend months and years working toward a goal–like a climber ascending Mount Everest. But when you achieve it and reach the summit, that moment right after you feel the triumph, there is an emptiness.

“What now?” You start to think.

This is the plight of the high achiever and the pitfall of the pursuit of happiness.

When we (my family and myself) first moved to Costa Rica 5+ years ago, it was a triumph. We accomplished a 5-year goal in 3 years, paying off our debts and finding ourselves in a tropical country with oodles of time and resources at hand. Do you know what I did first thing when we got here?

I slept. A lot.

About two weeks later, I found myself waking up early in the morning with a knot in my stomach, and I couldn’t figure out why. I was restless, picking up doing one thing and putting it down again, dissatisfied and unsettled. One night after dinner, I stood up from the table, exclaiming, “Holy crap!” (I didn’t say crap) “I know what this is!”

“WHAT?” said my startled and confused family.

I threw my hands up and said, “I’m bored.”

Thinking about it that evening, I realized that I hadn’t probably felt boredom since I was in my early 20s, which is more than nunyabizness years ago. I had been too damn busy pursuing my Perfect Day. Now that the dream had been realized, I was at a loss.

Five years have passed since that first dinner table exclamation, and here is what I’d love for you to know as you bring your dreams into reality:

We are more familiar with the feelings associated with failure than we are with the ones related to success. As a result, having what you want can take some getting used to. Contentment, happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment are all muscles you need to flex in order to continue to create and have a life you love (and not sabotage yourself). The more you stop to appreciate your little successes and acknowledge yourself on a daily and weekly basis, the more you “exercise” those muscles.
You may be so used to having a long to-do list, constantly doing things for others, always working under a deadline, etc., that when all of that disappears and you have an open space before you, it can feel like a chasm. Create a daily practice of being quiet and listening to your thoughts to get your mind used to being calmer and quieter. Use any kind of meditation or relaxation practice you like, or even go for a quiet walk or swim. A daily practice of this kind also results in getting amazing ideas and insights in my experience.
When you find yourself feeling guilty or placeless because you don’t know what your next step is and you can choose anything you want, remember to breathe into giving yourself permission. Take 3-5 deep “letting go” breaths (add a sigh if you'd like; it deepens the relaxation response), and tell yourself something loving like: “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” Or, “All I need to do today is what I get done today.”
Make a “dream list” of all the things you'd love to learn or do or try or experience. Would you like to learn a new language? Have you always wanted to take dance lessons or learn to paint? Volunteer to work with animals, children, or a cause that’s near and dear to your heart? What are all the books you’ve always wanted to read? As you create more time and money freedom, start choosing items off this list to put into your life, rather than creating more busy-ness. Pleasure makes us more productive, not less.

Do you feel like you have a “fear of success” or find yourself overwhelmed, at loose ends, or not sure where your next priority is? Are you taking tons of action, but not getting the results you want? Reach out for a discovery session, and let’s create the life and business of your dreams.

Let’s create the life and business of your dreams

Are You a Purple Squirrel? Should You Be?

Written by Robin Thompson on December 20, 2018. Posted in Blog, Leadership, Personal Development.

Have you ever heard the term “purple squirrel?” No, we aren’t talking about a mythical animal (even though that would be really cool). “Purple squirrel” in our terms is an analogy for a very particular type of person. Wondering what it means to be a purple squirrel? You might even be one!

What is a Purple Squirrel?

A purple squirrel is someone with a really unique skillset who can apply those skills in a number of different ways. Years ago I read an op-ed piece in the New York Times noting that employers were searching for new employees who were “purple squirrels,” something that doesn’t really exist in nature. Companies in essence were looking for people who had a large skillset who could apply skills to a variety of different areas but remain in one position within the company. I had to laugh, because I immediately identified with being one of these rare creatures.

The Downsides to the Purple Squirrel Life

If you say to yourself, “Okay, sure…I think I am a purple squirrel. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Well, as with most personality traits, there’s a little of good AND bad (but mostly good). A purple squirrel has many assets and can utilize them in almost any scenario. They are strong-willed and determined. If you can analyze data and still have a great background in marketing, if you’re a very good people-person but still know all the current software, or if you can do anything at a job in any position in that firm, you hopefully are viewed as a tremendous asset in your workplace, a valued leader. On the other hand, being a purple squirrel in a company may evoke fears from others that you’re going to take their job or be constantly trying to compete with them. Also, we all know that personalities can clash, because some people just aren’t that easy to get along with; those types of individuals really perceive a purple squirrel as a threat. A purple squirrel often speaks their mind, and sometimes others in a working environment can struggle being around this type of personality.

The Upsides

The benefits of being a purple squirrel are tremendous and can lead to great success. As purple squirrels, we have a unique vision that we want to fulfill and a unique skill set with which we can use to fill it. The challenge of having a unique vision is that not everyone can understand what you’re aiming to accomplish with that vision-so purple squirrels thrive when they can find other purple squirrels who speak the same “language.” Purple squirrels often ditch conventional 9-5 jobs and use their diverse skills and moxy to launch their own company and showcase their abilities, becoming the leaders they’ve always wanted to be by making their own rules. It’s not necessarily an easy path, but it’s a deeply fulfilling one and the innovation that purple squirrels bring to the world makes the world a better place.

You can use your “purple squirrel powers” to address the challenges you experience along the way. Cultivate your compassion for those who may be triggered or feel threatened by your unique skills. You don’t have to necessarily call someone out, but be open to the fact that they may feel a certain way that is different than how you feel. Deep communication skills are essential for purple squirrels, because often you can shift someone from being threatened to becoming your ally by being willing to get creative, dive into the difficult conversations, and find creative solutions.

Some people tend to think of purple squirrels as “too much,” but don’t let it suppress your purple squirrel-ness. Just again bring your compassion and perception to the forefront, understanding that some personality types need time to process in order to use their skills better, so a highly expressive purple squirrel can be overwhelming – and you might be missing out on a fellow purple squirrel who happens to be more of an internal processor! This is never personal; it’s just the wiring of how each individual functions—it’s all different.

Are You a Purple Squirrel?

So, what makes YOU a purple squirrel? Take some time, sit back, and think about your skills and how you use them. Do you think you’re a part of this magical circle of personality types? This will help you be a better leader as you realize and absorb those purple squirrel powers.

Purple squirrels need each other. As a fellow purple squirrel, I speak from experience when I say that it is so important to support each other and reach out to one another. We succeed faster and better when we have like minded squirrelocity around us. When you meet another purple squirrel, bring them into the tribe and help them achieve their success and understanding how to utilize their skills.

So get out there and shout out that you are a purple squirrel, and be proud to be one. Let that squirrel flag fly, fluff those tails, twitch those ears, and declare your membership in purple squirrel tribe! We are leaders, and we can do anything we set our minds to!

Want some help figuring out what obsession can boost your business?

Creating Safety for Ourselves and Being a Vulnerable Leader

Written by Robin Thompson on October 3, 2018. Posted in Blog, Business Development, Leadership, Personal Development.

Have you ever wondered what safety has to do with leadership, especially with a vulnerable leader, or being a working professional? The answer is: A lot!

Safety is a concept we learn early on during the most formative years of our childhood. We look to make ourselves feel safe on a daily basis. It is, after all, one of the most basic needs on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, and until the need to feel safe has been met, we cannot begin working upward toward the other needs on the list. This leaves us feeling insecure, unfulfilled, and frankly, unhappy.

You’re probably wondering what safety has to do with leadership or being a working professional. The answer is: A lot.

There’s been more and more press recently about being a vulnerable leader, opening ourselves up to connection and authenticity, and how all these things can make us stronger leaders, managers, supervisors, or even just colleagues. And what does it all mean? How can these things make us stronger networkers or speakers?

As professionals, we tend to go through a little bit of a push and pull between wanting to appear professional and be powerful in the moment and still managing to speak to our audience and connect with them. It’s a little bit of a dichotomy, and experiencing this contradiction can make it very difficult to really feel comfortable being vulnerable.

For those of you who don’t know my backstory, I have a background as a therapist, business coach, and voice actor. From my earliest time as a child, I remember creating a lot of safety for myself by anthropomorphizing the entire world around me (and I still do it today). This has brought me to collect and own a large collection of friends and creatures who have brought me great comfort throughout the years and have their own wisdom that can really only be accessed when you speak in their voice.

Have I lost you yet? No? Good. I'm talking about a large group of puppets, the first of which I discovered at a puppet petting zoo that had been set up when I was in graduate school to become a therapist. It was meant for therapists to shop around to use puppets as therapy tools, but what we found there was much deeper. I noticed George, the black-footed ferret, and I started thinking about how much of a crisis of conscience he was probably having being that he is a carnivore, but he’s also cute and fuzzy. I felt a connection with him right away, and I looked around and noticed that my connection to George was causing others to come over and check out the other carnivores like the wolves. People saw my connection with George, and they wanted to feel that connection too. Spontaneously, several other therapists and I started a carnivore support group. And no, I can’t make this stuff up!

You might never be in a situation where you’ll be connecting with a puppet at a puppet petting zoo, but this lesson translates into human connection as well. When people really connect with one another and allow themselves to be vulnerable, they find a common space of humanity. This common space acts as a mirror to other people, making them more comfortable and willing to come forward with their own feelings.

Many of us as children don’t successfully go through the stage in our childhood that Erik Erikson determined as the time when we decide if the world is a safe place or not. This causes them to not trust the world and to feel like it isn’t there for us. I was one of these people, and there are many, many more like us in the world as well. It’s important to look back through our childhood and find those things that made us feel safe as kids. This can trigger a neurological, emotional, and even a physiological response that can help us move past that unsafe space and step into our adult being so we can then take care of the younger parts of ourselves.

Sometimes to cope with our sense of ‘un-safe-ness’ we over-rely on things like food, sexual contact, or other things that may or may not serve us. We even have a tendency to search for connection on social media, but this often leads to us finding things that are very overstimulating and provoking. It does us no favors, especially for those of us who feel emotions very intensely.

As humans, we have a tendency to want to make decisions right away. We want to push forward, do things, change the environment…but if we do this on top of feeling unsafe or insecure, we might be doing things that actually snowball the negative feelings and lack of safety and make it worse.

Listen to yourself, and you’ll be more able to listen to others. Connect with people, look into their eyes, and when you get nervous or feel afraid, take care of the younger part of yourself that doesn’t feel safe. You can have the grown-up part of you take care of the little parts of you. It’s okay, and it’s necessary.

And, if you need help, just ask.

Take the next step in Your Leadership

How To Stop Feeling Overwhelmed When Change Is Afoot

Written by Robin Thompson on September 4, 2018. Posted in Blog, Leadership, Personal Development.

Feeling overwhelmed? Important elements of self-care, including sleep, nutrition, meditation, exercise, and hydration, are always important. In this blog, I offer some CompassionateTogether™ strategies that reduce overpowering thoughts and emotions.

5 Strategies to Practice

1. Trust yourself

Trusting yourself is a practice. Not trusting yourself is bound to bring anxiety and fear, common feelings contributing to being overwhelmed. Trusting yourself because your gut holds your Divine small still voice that is there to guide you.

Lean into your gut and say, “No wonder.” Lean into yourself and say, “I see you. I see me. I accept where I am at this moment and I know all things change.”

2. Breathe out

Holding one's breath is a normal reaction to stress, change, fear, and anxiety. Breathe out! Try it now.

Breathing out very slowly through pursed lips will send a signal to your brain that you are safe and there is no crisis.

During periods of overwhelm, make a point multiple times a day to breathe out slowly with intention.

3. Empty your cup

Emptying your cup is sharing, and this strategy is particularly important during times of change. Share what is overwhelming you: write it down or share with someone.

Finding someone with whom you can share can be a challenge if you do not have a therapist, coach, or spiritual mentor.

One option is to ask a trusted friend or family member to listen for 15 minutes without interruption: set a timer on your phone. After the 15 minutes, switch and do the same for your trusted other.

Another idea is to do what I call “speaking it” meditation: again, set an alarm and for no more than 15 minutes, talk out loud: speak what is going on inside and notice without judgment.

4. No such thing as failure

All of life is practice. When things do not go as planned, breathe and consider what happened as feedback.

Practice trusting that everything is working in your favor.

Stay on your own side with humility, i.e., stay teachable and open without shaming and blaming, and take responsibility for any mistakes.

Breathe out, knowing that when you make a decision, you can always make another one.

Humans are free to choose.

5. Toes up!

Whenever you are in a period of great change or creativity, the challenge is to relax and put your toes up when everything inside says, “Fight!”

Go with the flow. Trust your gut.

Trust your connection to your spiritual core, whatever that may be for you.

All is well, and all shall be well, somehow, some way.

To go with the flow, resist trying to control the tide of change.

When you notice any signs of fear or control, ask yourself if there is any action, however small, that will reduce the anxiety of the moment. If so, do that one thing. If there is no action to take, practice acceptance. Acceptance is often a gift of grace. Meditation can be helpful while we wait for the gift to arrive.

So there you have 5 complementary strategies to practice:

Trust yourself
Breathe out
Empty your cup
No such thing as failure
Toes up!

How do you help your loved ones with this tide of change?

Remember these 5 tips:

What others say is about them
What others feel is about them
What others think is about them
What others do is about them
Be compassionate and love them

Your loved ones’ reactions to what is happening are not about you: their reactions are theirs and are about them.

Practice witnessing the people in your life: what they are saying and doing is information about your loved ones.

Your reactions to what others are saying and doing are about you.

Keep swimming and toes up!

Love and blessings,Sherri

Sherri Williams has been a therapist and coach in private practice in Pittsburgh, PA for the last 14 years, helping hundreds of people make more loving choices for themselves. She has an MSEd in Marriage & Family Therapy, is a Board-Certified Counselor and Coach, and is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Pennsylvania. Prior to being a therapist, she worked as a CPA for Ernst & Young, taught at the University of Pittsburgh, and was an executive in nonprofit administration. She is the CEO of CompassionateTogether LLC, an organization dedicated to helping people be compassionate with themselves and one another by offering online groups, workshops, and certifications for coaches and businesses. Her book, Turtles & Bears: How Couples Can Be Compassionate Together is expected for publication in 2019. To receive monthly strategies for compassion, subscribe to her CompassionateTogether™ Letter. Here are the ways to connect and follow her on social media: Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter.

Sherri Williams MEd LPC BCC – CEO of CompassionateTogether LLC & Owner of TheLovingChoice.com

Ready to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed and create your oasis?

How to Speak Up Powerfully When You Want Things to Change GUEST: Tina Dietz [Podcast]

Written by Robin Thompson on June 19, 2018. Posted in Leadership, Personal Development, Podcast, Podcasting.

What stops you from speaking up? Strategies to help you be confident, assertive, and clear. It is time to speak up powerfully(Podcast on Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, Jun 19, 2018)

EMOTIONAL SAVVY: The Relationship Help Showwith Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorHow to Speak Up Powerfully When You Want Things to Change – Episode 44GUEST: Tina Dietz, Speaker, Audiobook Publisher, Podcast Producer, Content Marketing ExpertDR. RHOBERTA SHALER:In today's episode, Dr. Shaler shares compelling ideas about how you can be keeping yourself from having the life and relationships you most want.What's getting in your way? What's stopping you? Do you know? Stop and think about it…seriously.How are you with reasons, rationalizations, justifications, and plain ol' excuses? Maybe, it's time to think them through and see how they are serving you. Listen in for insights and inspiration for moving forward more powerfully.You deserve to take up space and draw breath, so, why not take stock and see if you're making the most of it? There is norightway to be, and you are at your best when you are examining, and re-examining your focus, your goals, and your desired results. Rhoberta will help you think that through today. Listen in and be inspired to move in the direction of the life and love you want.GUEST: Tina Dietz, Speaker, Audiobook Publisher, Podcast Producer, Content Marketing ExpertTina Dietz is an award-winning and internationally acclaimed speaker, audiobook publisher, podcast producer, and content marketing expert who has been featured on media outlets including ABC. Inc.com, Huffington Post, and Forbes. Tina's podcast, The Start Something Show, was named by INC magazine as one of the top 35 podcasts for entrepreneurs. Tina's company, StartSomething Creative Business Solutions, connects leaders, entrepreneurs and experts with larger audiences, resulting in expanded influence and income. Tina divides her time between the US and Cost Rica, where she is part of a leadership team building a conscious community called Vista Mundo.Tina knows some big things about speaking up! In fact, you could say she's outspoken…lol! With her support, so many people have found their voice and created their businesses, including podcasts. She helps them to become outspoken, too, to give the world the power of their insights, learning, and strategies for growth.How does someone's voice affect you? Are you aware of its effect on you? You actually are calibrating another person's voice without even realizing…and so is everyone else!How does your voice affect others? Your voice speaks volume–even before the impact of your words!

Your early life set you up for how you listen, what you pick up, and what you ignore or deny. What did you take on, and how is it serving me now?Tina Dietz help people express themselves in the world through audio publishing. In Part Two of today's episode, Tina shared her entrepreneurial journey, and how she came to her current work. She is an international expert at helping her clients turn their books and ideas, into audio books and products.How to ask good questions is imperative to interviewing others. Big talking points about this today!

So many turns and twists in this episode through life stories, Hijackals, and creating a wonderful business. You'll enjoy this, I think!

Here's some interview highlights:

Do you realize how you use your listening to navigate your life and relationships?
Are you in tune with it?
Why is it that you can hear your name spoken, even in a crowded room?
What did you learn early in life about who you are, and how intuitive you are?

Tina gives you insights into why this is and what the impact of it is on how you create your life, relationships, and business.

In this week’s powerful podcast episode “How to Create a Great Audiobook” you will discover …

How necessary it is for you to have an audiobook
What are some audiobook basics you need to understand
What audiobook trends you need to know about
Who is the best person to read your book
The importance of using an oral edit
Top mistakes to avoid when creating a great audiobook
And much, much more…

This episode features practical tools and techniques to help listeners who want to market a book. It provides invaluable and powerful information listeners will want to know to supercharge a book marketing strategy.

HER FREE GIFT: Tina's ebook, Launch Your Audio Book. Get it HERE.

Wondering how you can easily speak up powerfully?

How Pissed Off Do You Need To Be To Change?

Written by Robin Thompson on March 6, 2018. Posted in Blog, Business Development, Personal Development, Productivity.

The key to tapping into anger as a tool is to allow ourselves to go underneath the anger into the underlying commitment behind the anger. Are you pissed off enough to change?

Why did you set the goals for yourself that you’ve set? Why start the business, the book, the project?

I was at a mastermind event with a group of business leaders in Austin, TX led by the incredible Candy Barone and when this subject came up, and the answer was surprisingly consistent among the people in the room.

We had gotten pissed off. Angry. Even righteous….and decided to do something about it.

In the worlds of leadership, personal development, and transformation we often shy away from using or acknowledging anger as a motivating force, but it can be a tremendous source of energy and forward momentum.

The key to tapping into anger as a tool is to allow ourselves to go underneath the anger into the underlying commitment behind the anger.

What we get most fired up about are usually those areas that hold the most meaning for us. Things that aren’t meaningful to us tend to fade in and out of our awareness without leaving a lasting impression.

There’s a deep commitment that you have to something underneath the emotional fire, something that calls you to react strongly and feel motivated to respond and take action. Now imagine using that automatic motivation, that intense rush of energy, and putting it to use towards effective action that is in alignment with your commitment, your values, your passion.

For your brain and business ‘food’ this week and viewing pleasure, here’s what we’re discussing:

Tapping into what gets you angry as a tool to create more clarity
Aligning your goals with your values
Red flags to pay attention to when it comes to anger
Using your anger as a directional needle to get more focused
How to direct your anger and upset into productive, clear action.

What do you get fired up about and what’s your underlying commitment that triggers that response? Let’s get the conversation going and unleash your voice – the world needs you!

Ready to turn that anger into a productive business?

Is This Mistake Sabotaging Your Leadership?

Written by Robin Thompson on February 27, 2018. Posted in Blog, Business Development, Personal Development, Productivity.

Heather Parbst, business development and team building maven, agreed to share her expertise and thoughts on the topic of leadership sabotage, particularly for women leaders but these issues can extend across age, gender, etc. SOAK THIS IN.

What do you think of this statement?

“I, too, am a “doer.” I’ve always taken pride in this title. People know they can count on me, that I will be responsible and produce a good product. Throughout my career, this was my modus operandi. I worked hard, doing more than my fair share and assuming the responsibilities of others when they were quite capable of doing it themselves. Then, I would feel resentful when others didn’t acknowledge my efforts or step in to take some of the work off my plate.”

Holy.Crap.

When I read these words from business development and team building maven Heather Parbst, I felt as though I had written them myself. Can you relate?

So today, Heather agreed to share her expertise and thoughts on the topic of leadership sabotage, particularly for women leaders but these issues can extend across age, gender, etc. SOAK THIS IN.

Work hard and reap the benefits. That’s what you’ve done so far in your career and it has worked to propel you forward. You are known as a “doer.” You get it done, whatever “it” is. People describe you as competent and dependable. They know they can count on you. It has been your hard work and sweat that have gotten you to where you are.

Women often think that our sweat alone is the primary driver of our success. People will see our abilities for what they are based on: our work product and the amount of effort we extend. We work hard to prove our competence and to show that we bring value. This works great in school. Work hard, get the good grade. Work hard, get into the good school. Work hard, get the promotion. You see where I am going. It works… until it doesn’t.

Let me explain.

I, too, am a “doer.” I’ve always taken pride in this title. People know they can count on me, that I will be responsible and produce a good product. Throughout my career, this was my modus operandi. I worked hard, doing more than my fair share and assuming the responsibilities of others when they were quite capable of doing it themselves. Then, I would feel resentful when others didn’t acknowledge my efforts or step in to take some of the work off my plate.

Prior to a leadership role, this was a personal aggravation. But, once I was heading up a team, it became a massive bottleneck. Instead of empowering my team, my actions said, “I don’t believe in you to do this work, so I will do it myself” or “You don’t have to do this work. I will take care of it for you.” Meanwhile, my burning the candle at both ends was standing in the way of my business success and causing me to burn out. And it certainly was not scalable.

Gender-Bias Is a Factor

There is a natural tendency for women to “over-row the boat,” as Susan MacKenty Brady, chief strategist with Linkage Inc., likes to say. This is partly due to gender bias. A well-known illustration of gender bias at play is the 2012 study by Yale University where 100 fictional, identical resumes for a lab manager position were sent to 100 faculty members nationwide to assess what their hiring decisions would be based solely on the resumes. The only difference between the resumes was that half bore the name “John” and the other half said “Jennifer.” You probably know the story. John was rated more competent and hirable, and he was given a salary of $4,000 more annually than Jennifer. Despite both candidates having the exact same qualifications, Jennifer was perceived as less deserving of the job. Hopefully you can see how this sets Jennifer up for having to work significantly harder to demonstrate her value.

We Do It to Ourselves Too

But, gender bias is only part of the problem. Our own false beliefs about work, worth and competence also play a role in why we work ourselves ragged. Inside, we may secretly wish that someone else, our spouse, our boss, our coworker, will see how much we are contributing and acknowledge our efforts. This can be particularly true if we struggle with talking about our ourselves, our own strengths and accomplishments. We may simply be scared to give up control for fear of things not being done to our expectations or standards. Or we believe that by doing it all at or near perfection proves our value and eliminates the chance that others may question whether we are deserving.

What Got Us Here Won’t Get Us There

Thinking in this way is a tragedy. Why? Because the “do it all at 110%” approach that got us the job or powered us through starting our business will sabotage us as leaders. Midway through our careers, instead of hitting our stride and putting our accumulated knowledge and skills to work, we feel exhausted and just want a break. When we are best poised to use our talents to lead others forward to greatness, we are longing instead for a long rest.

Stop Hyper-Performing and Start Delegating

Hyper-performing will certainly help us to a point, but our personal energy isn’t scalable and, frankly, over-performing is exhausting! At a certain point, if we want to continue to increase our impact, we must change our approach. The shift here is to learn how to leverage the talents and gifts of those around us. Instead of drawing on our ability to power through and do it all, we need to draw on our other skills, like collaboration and communication.

We need to level up our mindset, rising above thoughts like, “I want to advance my career, take on this role, grow this business by doing X, but I just don’t know how I’ll get it all done.” We must understand that the work is not all for us to do. We enlist others. We empower others to do their jobs and to build their skills along the way. We ask others to help. Our new way of thinking sounds like, “I want to accomplish X. How can I inspire others to help me and how do I leverage their talents to get it done?”

It’s Not All About You

Sometimes the most difficult hurdle to this mental shift is getting past the belief that our delegation is self-serving. You protecting your own sanity is good for everybody! By easing your burdens so that you can focus on your true priorities in a way that best utilizes your skills and prevents burnout, you are driving your entire team forward and setting an excellent example of quality leadership. You are also creating opportunities for your team to expound on their skills. Remember that when you choose to do it all, you are limiting their success (let that last one soak in for a minute).

So, whether you are dealing with “Team Work” or “Team Family,” the answer to getting it all done and increasing your impact is the same—stop doing it all yourself.

Recruit assistance, delegate and scale!

Heather Parbst is the founder of Clarity3 Consulting, a firm focused on helping entrepreneurs grow strong, healthy businesses. She founded Clarity3 after selling her own IT company and wanting to help others achieve entrepreneurial success. Having a background in behavioral science and experience as a CEO and business owner, Heather brings a unique perspective to the world of entrepreneurship and leadership. She particularly enjoys working with women to grow as leaders and scale their businesses.

Heather Parbst – Business development & team building maven

Ready to step into a new level of leadership and break through old, self-sabotaging habits and beliefs?

Is Resistance Keeping You From What You Want?

Written by Robin Thompson on February 20, 2018. Posted in Blog, Business Development, Personal Development, Productivity, Video.

Your resistance may be keeping you from what you want and not allowing you to get stuff done. And this is the type of resistance I'm talking about here: The most common type of resistance I see in creative people.

VIVE LA RESISTANCE!!!!

No. Nope. Definitely Not. That’s the last thing we need.

Resistance keeps us from having what we want and getting stuff done.

How many times have you had a phenomenal idea but not acted on it, and then you see someone else making it happen?

Do you know how long it took me to break through my resistance to offer the audiobook production and publishing services in my business that I’m now known for?

4 YEARS

The type of resistance I encountered and ultimately (thank goodness!) overcame is a very common type of resistance I see in creative people.

In essence, this type of resistance is the result of a fear/concern that the vision we have for our idea might not match the reality. The fear of things not working out is crushing to the point where we’d rather have the fantasy than risk the reality of possible disappointment.

There are two other types of resistance that are unfortunately common but fortunately very ‘treatable’ once you know what you’re dealing with.

Resistance Type 2 is when you’re up against the need to learn something new, and you know it would probably be good for you and benefit you, but you just can’t generate any energy around learning this new skill or doing what needs to be done.

Often this is a situation of “I CAN learn this, but I hate it.” Or, “Yeah, I can do this but it takes me forever/I don’t like it/there’s so many other things I could be doing.”

FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is also the source of this type of resistance. It’s so easy to get pulled off track by wanting to jump on a trend or new bit of technology.

Alleviating this type of resistance is best served by bringing in more teamwork – either with your colleagues or by hiring someone – or by getting creative and finding a solution that’s better suited to your strengths and priorities.

And then there's Resistance Type 3...I start discussing the finer points of this resistance at 4:03 into the video, and really you want to listen to this part there if you haven’t listened to the entire 6 minutes already.

Either you’ll laugh or you’ll want to slap me. Possibly both. Let me know.

This week, observe where you’re experiencing some resistance and see where you can find more creative solutions, bring in more teamwork, and/or get out of your own way. What type of resistance are you dealing with?

Ready to break through your resistance and get results?

The Business Advice That Causes the Most Damage

Written by Robin Thompson on February 1, 2018. Posted in Blog, Leadership, Personal Development, Video.

Rant Warning – This common ‘advice' hurts more than it helps…

Sigh…

I’m listening along in a really good, NY Times bestselling audiobook about success and reaching your goals and all pumped up, doing my thing on the elliptical machine when suddenly IT happens.

That moment where I want to throw large, heavy objects through windows.

Christ/Krishna on a cracker, did she HAVE to go there?

We were all good until she insisted that the difference between success and failure, between reaching your goals and a life of mediocrity and disappointment, was one simple thing.

“Your limiting beliefs.”

AAAAUUUUUGHHHHHH!! Do you know what this statement is?

Yes. It’s a trap. This is the single most widely accepted piece of success advice that causes the most damage – both emotionally as well as pragmatically.

This entire conversation that “you’ll never be successful if you have limiting beliefs,” has GOT to go.

Of COURSE it’s important to work on yourself. But if you believe you can’t be successful because you haven’t worked out your limiting beliefs…THAT’S A LIMITING BELIEF!!

By the way, the video will clarify this issue loud and clear, but NSFW 🙂

Human beings are works in progress. Is being a good person a prerequisite for success? Um..no. I mean seriously, have you seen the number of ‘successful’ megalomaniac jackasses out there?

I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve felt like a complete freaking moron, worried that I had NO idea what I was doing and that I get embarrassed, laughed at or called out. Fearful that I’d lose money or waste all my time.

What’s most powerful to create success (YOUR definition of success) is to take consistent actions, however small, to shift yourself BOTH from the inside out and from the outside in.

Babies learn to walk by walking, pianists learn to play from practicing, successful people learn to be successful by taking actions consistent with their vision of success.

As my friend and colleague Teresa de Grosbois would say,

The right support is at your fingertips. Schedule a Discovery Call and let's explore working together to bring your vision into reality

When You Know It’s The Perfect Time To Get Obsessed

Written by Robin Thompson on January 24, 2018. Posted in Blog, Creating Wealth, Personal Development, Video. 2 Comments on When You Know It’s The Perfect Time To Get Obsessed

There is power in giving yourself permission to get obsessed. Here is when it's the perfect time to get obsessed.

For a long time in my business, I struggled with focusing in on a niche. I worried I was going to miss out on clients, that I wasn’t going to use my talents fully, or that I wasn’t throwing a “wide enough net.”

I even thought that the whole “niche” thing was a bit of a myth, and that as long as I knew the TYPE of business owner I wanted to work with, that was enough. My clients were getting amazing results doubling their income, their free time, and their influence, and I thought that was enough – but I still felt like the world’s best-kept secret.

Then I got obsessed, and everything changed.

I experienced the kind of business growth and opportunities you hear about in those webinar success stories, and that success continues to accelerate.

Let’s be clear, I’m not talking about obsession in the clinical sense, but rather giving ourselves permission, unashamedly and unabashedly, to dive deep into that which we are deeply interested in and passionate about.

Since I was 2 years old, I’ve had two pervasive interests – reading books, and microphones. But because I found these things so delightful, I had them classified as hobbies and filed them away in my brain in a compartment labeled, “PLEASURE ONLY: NOT FOR BUSINESS USE.”

It wasn’t until I allowed myself to pursue my interest-turning-obsession in voice acting and narrating audiobooks (the intersection of books and microphones) that I made the discovery that changed everything.

Simply put – in the circles of entrepreneurs I knew, everyone had a book, but no one had an audiobook.

My brain exploded into a frenzy of WHY????

And that’s when I went down the rabbit hole of audiobooks, podcasting, and audio marketing – reading articles, listening, researching, talking with people, asking question after question, and then experimenting…and then more questions…and then more experimenting.

Within 6 months of launching done for you audiobook production and publishing for nonfiction authors as a service, audiobooks became 75% of my company and I had doubled my sales for the year.

I continued to focus on my audio obsession, and had another 30% growth the following year, expanding my team and becoming the sole earner for my family – I semi-retired my husband so he could go back to university and go deep into his obsession too.

And here’s my favorite part.

I became more myself.

Bringing more of what I loved-those things that made me essentially ME into my work-allowed a space of freedom, confidence, and feeling ‘at home’ in my work. Do you think that helps with productivity, decision making, and leadership? HELL YES.

NOW, set yourself some time to pursue the interests you absolutely love and start a healthy obsession! Share your comments about what you’re ‘obsessed’ about or what you want to become obsessed about.

Want some help figuring out what obsession will boost your business?