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How Vocal Delivery Shapes Leadership Perception in the 2024 Presidential Election

How Vocal Delivery Shapes Leadership Perception in the 2024 Presidential Election

It's not just the words, but how they say them…

As we head into the next presidential election you'll notice that the pitch, the pause, the rise and fall of a leader’s voice captures hearts and minds just as effectively—if not more so—than the words themselves.

As I’ve noted before, “The way you sound has a profound impact on how your message is received, often more so than the content of the message itself.” Do You Sound Like a Leader? explores this in greater detail.

As we look at the vocal delivery styles of 2024 presidential candidates Donald Trump and Kamala Harris, we find that the way a leader speaks can profoundly shape public perception. For leaders, experts, and entrepreneurs, understanding this dynamic can be the key to leading effectively and making your voice heard.

The Science of Persuasion: Why Vocal Qualities Matter

How Vocal Delivery Shapes Leadership Perception in the 2024 Presidential Election

Sure, content is king. But the crown jewels? They’re all in the delivery. Robert Cialdini, the godfather of influence psychology, points out that authority and likability are key factors in persuasion—and these often hinge on how a message is delivered. As Cialdini explains, “We are more likely to be influenced by people who are authoritative, who appear credible and knowledgeable, regardless of the content of their message.” A deep, resonant voice doesn’t just sound good; it signals authority, commanding respect and attention before a leader even gets to the meat of their message.

Lee Hartley Carter, a renowned strategist and author of Persuasion: Convincing Others When Facts Don’t Seem to Matter, has spent years advising Fortune 500 companies and political campaigns on the art of effective communication. Her work highlights the critical role that emotional resonance and authenticity play in leadership. According to Carter, a voice that truly connects with listeners can make all the difference in persuasion. And let’s be honest, we’ve all been in meetings where the speaker’s monotone droning put us on a one-way trip to Snoozeville. But with the right vocal techniques, you can keep your audience engaged and attentive.

When a leader modulates their voice—using strategic pauses, varying their pitch, and adjusting their pacing—they’re not just holding attention; they’re shaping perceptions. A well-timed pause can create anticipation and emphasize a point, while variations in tone can keep the audience emotionally connected. Sometimes, how you say something lands more impactfully than what you say.

With these foundational ideas in mind, let’s explore how current leaders like Donald Trump and Kamala Harris use their vocal delivery to influence public perception.

Trump vs. Harris: A Vocal Showdown

The 2024 presidential race isn’t just a clash of ideologies—it’s a vocal duel. Donald Trump continues to wield his voice like a weapon, with his recent speech at the 2024 CPAC showcasing his signature assertive tone. As he declared, “We will take back the White House,” his booming voice was designed to project strength and determination to his base. It’s no wonder Trump’s rallies and speeches still feel like rock concerts—he’s mastered the art of keeping the audience on their feet, even if it’s with the same chorus repeated a dozen times. But as The Washington Post pointed out in 2019, while Trump’s “booming and relentless” tone solidifies his image as a strong leader, it’s also divisive. To some, his aggressive style comes off as bullying, deepening the divide between his supporters and detractors.

On the other side of the vocal spectrum is Kamala Harris. Her speech on gun violence prevention in June 2023 is a prime example of her calm, deliberate, and empathetic tone. Harris’s voice flowed with measured cadence, her empathetic tone wrapping around each word like a warm embrace—inviting listeners in rather than overwhelming them. During this speech, her deliberate pauses and slower pace were used to emphasize the gravity of the topic, resonating deeply with her audience. However, Harris faces a different set of challenges—particularly gender biases. As The New York Times explored in 2023, Harris’s vocal delivery is often judged against traditional gender expectations. Some praise her composed demeanor, while others criticize her for lacking the forcefulness they expect from a leader—especially when compared to male counterparts like Trump. This bias reflects broader societal expectations, where women leaders are often caught in a double bind: be too soft, and you’re weak; too strong, and you’re shrill.

Critical Thinking: Separating Content from Delivery

So, how can you navigate the nuances of vocal delivery without getting swayed by style over substance? Here are some tips:

  • Focus on the Content: Pay close attention to the actual message. Is the candidate backing up their claims with facts? Are they providing clear, logical arguments, or are they relying on emotional appeals and repetition to fill the gaps?
  • Beware of Emotional Manipulation: Notice when a speaker uses tone and inflection to play on your emotions. While emotions are a powerful communication tool, they shouldn’t replace rational analysis. As Lee Hartley Carter notes, “The leaders who resonate most emotionally with their audience are those who can authentically project the emotions that match their message. It’s not just what they say, but how they make people feel.” Ask yourself if the emotional tone aligns with the facts presented. How to Free Yourself from Emotional Velcro and Create Psychological Safety in the Workplace offers insights on managing emotional responses effectively.
  • Consider the Whole Picture: Vocal qualities can enhance or distort a candidate’s perceived credibility. Look beyond the delivery to assess their track record, policies, and actions.
  • Check Your Biases: Be mindful of unconscious biases that might affect how you perceive a candidate’s voice. Gender, race, and other factors can shape our perceptions of leadership qualities in ways we might not even realize.
  • Diversify Your Sources: Engage with a range of news outlets and analyses to get a balanced view. Different perspectives can help you see beyond any single source’s bias and get a fuller picture of the candidate’s platform and delivery.

Next time you hear a political speech, ask yourself: Are you being swayed by the logic of the argument, or is the speaker’s tone doing most of the work? How does the delivery shape your perception? By sharpening these critical thinking skills, you can better discern the substance behind a candidate’s words, making informed choices that go beyond surface-level impressions.

Summary and Takeaways

In leadership, how you say something can be as important—if not more so—than what you say. As we’ve seen with Donald Trump and Kamala Harris, vocal qualities significantly influence public perception, with societal biases adding another layer of complexity, particularly regarding gender. But by honing critical thinking skills and staying mindful of the difference between content and delivery, we can navigate these complexities and make more informed decisions. As the 2024 election approaches, let’s listen not just to the words our leaders speak, but to how they speak them. After all, it’s not just about sounding persuasive—it’s about leading with integrity. For more on this, see Strengthening Your Voice of Leadership in Uncertain Times.

And as we continue to explore the power of voice, whether in leadership or in technology like AI audiobooks, it’s clear that how we communicate can make all the difference.

What most surprised you, or what do you still want to know? Let us know your thoughts below!

About Tina Dietz:

Tina Dietz is an award-winning and internationally acclaimed speaker, audiobook publisher, podcast producer, and vocal leadership expert whose work and shows have been featured on media outlets including ABC, NBC, CBS, The Wall Street Journal and Chicago Tribune, Inc.com, and Forbes. She’s been named one of the top podcasters for entrepreneurs by INC.com, and Tina’s company, Twin Flames Studios, re-imagines thought leadership through podcasting and audiobooks for experts, executives, and founders.

Why An Audiobook Now?

Connecting With People Through the Power of Audiobooks

audiobooks stack with headphones, top view

How are you getting your audience’s attention?

As you know, content is everywhere and the demands for attention are higher every day.

It’s easy for even the most compelling messages to get lost in the noise.

It’s critical to cut through the clutter and truly connect with your audience on a deeper, more personal level.

This is where the benefits of audiobooks now truly shine…

Audiobooks aren’t just a “format;” they’re an intimate experience that brings your words to life. When your voice tells your story, it’s not just heard—it’s felt. The cadence, the emotion, the subtle inflections—they all add layers of meaning that deepen the connection between you and your listener.

It’s an opportunity for deeper connection through content than nearly any other type of content that you will invest your time in creating.

Your message is more than just words on a page; it’s a reflection of your passion, your expertise, and your vision. When you translate that into an audiobook, you’re not just sharing information—you’re forging a connection.

So why aren’t more people producing audiobooks?

There are a few common issues and misconceptions we hear when talking with authors, publishers, editors and book coaches.

why an audiobook now?

Misconception 1: Audiobooks Won’t Reach My Audience

Many authors underestimate the reach and influence of audiobooks. They think that their audience prefers physical books or eBooks and that producing an audiobook won’t add much value. But the truth is, audiobooks have steadily grown in popularity over the years. 

52% of all U.S. adults have listened to an audiobook in their lifetime, and in 2023, revenue increased by 9% to $2 billion, according to the Audio Publishers Association.

Moreover, audiobooks can expand your reach to people with disabilities or those who prefer auditory learning. For many, reading can be a challenge due to visual impairments or dyslexia. Audiobooks offer an inclusive way for these individuals to enjoy your work without barriers.

By not offering an audiobook, you could be missing out on connecting with a whole segment of your audience who prefers consuming content in this format.

Misconception 2: Audiobooks Now Aren’t a Good Investment

Another common misconception is that producing audiobooks now requires a costly investment with little return. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Audiobooks can dramatically increase your audience, influence, and income. An audiobook has the potential to generate revenue indefinitely. Plus, with platforms like Audible, Google Play, Apple Books, and even Spotify, it’s easier than ever to distribute your audiobook to a global audience.

Authors are often surprised to learn that they don’t have to give away their royalties or go through a complicated process to see a return on their investment. The key is to work with an experienced team that understands how to navigate the audiobook market effectively.

Misconception 3: Audiobook Production is Complicated and Time-Consuming

Perhaps the most common reason authors hesitate to create an audiobook is the belief that it’s a complicated, time-consuming process. Many authors don’t know where to start or feel overwhelmed by the technical aspects of audiobook production. This is where working with a partner like Twin Flames Studios can make all the difference. We handle everything—from recording and editing to distribution—so you can focus on what you do best: telling your story. Our streamlined process ensures that your audiobook is produced to the highest quality standards while allowing you to maintain full creative control.

Let’s Create Audio Magic Together

The world of audiobooks is rich with opportunity, and there’s never been a better time to explore it.

Ready to take the next step?

why an audiobook now?

I’m hosting an in-depth webinar on September 19th, 2024 at 12 PM Eastern that will show you how to boost your bottom line, expand your audience, and create an audiobook that will give you content for years to come. This is where you start.

What most surprised you, or what do you still want to know? Let us know your thoughts below!

About Tina Dietz:

Tina Dietz is an award-winning and internationally acclaimed speaker, audiobook publisher, podcast producer, and vocal leadership expert whose work and shows have been featured on media outlets including ABC, NBC, CBS, The Wall Street Journal and Chicago Tribune, Inc.com, and Forbes. She’s been named one of the top podcasters for entrepreneurs by INC.com, and Tina’s company, Twin Flames Studios, re-imagines thought leadership through podcasting and audiobooks for experts, executives, and founders.

Reduce Stress by Taking An Emotional Velcro Vacation

We interrupt this Hot Girl Summer for an Emotional Velcro Vacation!

Thus far, 2024 has been characterized with the typical uncertainty we all experience during a presidential election year, regardless of politics. But add the extra seasoning of social and economic unrest, and that is one spicy meatball!

As a leader, do you feel like you’re carrying the weight of their world on your shoulders?

Need some quick ways to reduce stress without sacrificing productivity?

reduce stress by taking an emotional velcro vacation

What is Emotional Velcro?

Simply, it’s the stress, anxiety, and emotional baggage you accumulate over time when interacting with other people.

It’s the “waxy buildup” of emotional residue that you often unconsciously adopt when leading teams, parent kids, partners, friends, and so on.

Taking Your Emotional Velcro Vacation

It’s time for some much-deserved relief and rejuvenation.

When you are stressed, ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way?”

Are you carrying the emotions of someone else, even by accident? Figuring out the source of the emotional velcro can help bring about immediate relief or at least help you get to the next step.

First, talk with someone else like a coach, counselor or other trusted source. Or simply spend some time in reflection and analysis to discover the truth inside yourself or about the situation.

From there, it’s time to shift your mental state, which is a lot easier said than done. Find out more about how to apply all three of these steps in this article I wrote for Forbes about creating psychological safety in the workplace by freeing yourself of Emotional Velcro.

Vocal Techniques to Reduce Stress Immediately

For some quick relief or practice, here are two vocal techniques you can use right now: sigh and rant. It’s like the “bend and snap” of 2024.

A deep sigh triggers your parasympathetic nervous system and your body’s relaxation response. It’s easy to do, and you can do this anywhere – which is why it’s one of my favorite techniques.

And the “rant” in question here is actually much less long-winded than it sounds. When I say “rant” I’m talking about unleashing a single word, done in a specific way that also has fantastic benefits for your nervous system.

Read more about these 2 vocal techniques for immediate stress relief in another article I wrote for Forbes, so you can perfect them in no time.

Remember, taking care of your emotional well-being is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. So, take that first step today and start shedding the Emotional Velcro that’s holding you back. Your future self will thank you.

Additional Resources:

How to Free Yourself from Emotional Velcro And Create Psychological Safety In The Workplace

How To Reduce Your Stress Immediately With 2 Vocal Techniques

What most surprised you, or what do you still want to know? Let us know your thoughts below!

About Tina Dietz:

Tina Dietz is an award-winning and internationally acclaimed speaker, audiobook publisher, podcast producer, and vocal leadership expert whose work and shows have been featured on media outlets including ABC, NBC, CBS, The Wall Street Journal and Chicago Tribune, Inc.com, and Forbes. She’s been named one of the top podcasters for entrepreneurs by INC.com, and Tina’s company, Twin Flames Studios, re-imagines thought leadership through podcasting and audiobooks for experts, executives, and founders.

Authors’ Advocacy Leads to Positive Changes at Spotify and Audible

Did Mercury retrograde specifically target the Audiobook industry in Q1 this year?

Between Spotify’s bewildering attempted rights grab and author Brandon Sanderson swinging his influence like Excalibur over Audible, the news around Audiobooks in 2024 is wild!

Here’s what’s been happening, and what authors need to know to make sure they are getting the most out of their Audiobook investment and rights.

Planet wearing headphones in a city setting with people and audio symbols all around
Is Mercury retrograde affecting the audiobook industry?

Spotify’s Thwarted Audiobook Rights Grab

Spotify positioned itself as a would-be competitor to Audible over the last 2 years, launching a monthly subscription service and retail audiobook sales on their platform. Spotify also purchased FindawayVoices, a long-time Audiobook distribution company that had been growing an Audiobook self-publishing and production platform for authors as a competitor to Audible’s ACX platform.

Currently, the only way for independent authors to have their Audiobook distributed on Spotify is to use Findaway.

On February 15, 2024, Spotify changed their terms of use on Findaway, requiring authors to grant broad rights to Spotify for translating, modifying, and creating derivative works from submitted audiobooks. This sparked immediate concerns among authors and publishing professionals who were worried this was encroaching on their Audiobook rights. The Authors Guild, among other industry watchdog groups, warned its members not to accept the new terms.

In fact, the response was so overwhelming that Spotify responded immediately. The new terms of use, released a day later on February 16, removed the overly broad rights and clarified that the rights granted were solely for the purpose of improving discoverability, anti-piracy, and anti-fraud measures – not for creating new content or AI voice training without permission.

For more on the specific changes to the Audiobook terms at Spotify, read the Authors Guild’s response to these changes here.

Is it “safe” to publish your Audiobooks to Spotify at this point? I would say yes, given the updated Terms of Use. At the same time, we here at Twin Flames Studios will be keeping an eye on the situation and gathering industry news as always to make sure that authors are getting the best options for their Audiobooks.

Higher Audiobook Royalties Coming Soon from Audible

Brandon Sanderson, the esteemed science fiction and fantasy writer with more than 40 million book sales, is largely to thank for Audible’s impending new royalty structure, which is said to offer better terms for Audiobooks from independent authors. 

This change comes after Sanderson's proactive discussions with Audible. Sanderson, who previously withheld the Audiobook versions of his Secret Projects series from Audible to encourage industry reform, will soon release them on the platform, recognizing Audible's steps towards improvement.

Sanderson noted that his desire for a more transparent and equitable system emerged from Audible’s ambiguous royalty and audio sales structure. As a result of Audible’s “credit” system, authors are often unsure of how their royalties are being accounted for.

Another point of contention Sanderson had with Audible was the percentage of sales authors receive in royalties. He explained that “While video game creators and musicians get 70–80% of a sale of their products… Audible is paying as low as 25%–with the high end being instead 40%.” 

As a result of new negotiations with Audible through Sanderson’s team, minimum royalty rates for Audiobooks are increasing and the company is going to be more transparent about authors’ pay as it relates to “credits” spent by users. Additional changes include authors being paid royalties monthly instead of quarterly and the inclusion of additional documentation of how royalty amounts are calculated.

While the new structure doesn't fully meet all his expectations, it represents a significant step forward in the right direction for Audiobooks. My team and I at Twin Flames Studios will be the first in line to announce to our Audiobook clients that their royalties are increasing as soon as Audible makes these changes.

Read and watch more Frequently Asked Questions about Audiobooks and benefit from our expertise, or Contact Us for more information and forthright advice about producing, distributing, and profiting from Audiobooks.

What most surprised you, or what do you still want to know? Let us know your thoughts below!

About Tina Dietz:

Tina Dietz is an award-winning and internationally acclaimed speaker, audiobook publisher, podcast producer, and vocal leadership expert whose work and shows have been featured on media outlets including ABC, NBC, CBS, The Wall Street Journal and Chicago Tribune, Inc.com, and Forbes. She’s been named one of the top podcasters for entrepreneurs by INC.com, and Tina’s company, Twin Flames Studios, re-imagines thought leadership through podcasting and audiobooks for experts, executives, and founders.

The Simpsons Copywriting Policy to Convert More Customers From Your Sales Page

By Sage Polaris, “Conscious Launch Strategist for the Internet Rich and Famous”

As online business owners, we draw inspiration and ideas for promoting our own business from all kinds of sources: our peers, TV, music, sports, fiction, and even the movies.

Early on in my copywriting career I learned about DISC, a personality-based system created to better understand your strengths. It quickly dawned on me when I learned about this system that it could also be applied to the way people make buying decisions and I could teach this system through the lens of the Simpsons TV show. Yes, those Simpsons – Marge, Lisa, Bart, and of course the most unforgettable one, Homer. 

And the results I have gotten speak for themselves. I’ve used this system to support writing launch copy for my clients, and they have made upwards of $1.25 million in a single launch. I’ve also written copy for more than 475 clients with millions more in sales results.

Image of Lego Simpsons characters

Now, getting your copy to that level of performance is rare enough in and of itself, but bringing it into the frame of everyone's favorite cartoon, dysfunctional family is what makes my method for tripling sales results truly unforgettable and super actionable.

So the question is, how do you use these four main characters in the Simpsons to write better copy that sells? This system can be applied to writing your sales page, ad copy, sales emails, landing pages, or even convincing your partner to walk the dog.

The 4 Buyer Types You Want to Invite Every Time You Make an Offer as an Online Business Owner

Image of Homer thinking with text describing the fun-loving decision maker

Buyer Type #1: Yellow – Homer // Fun Loving Decision Maker

This buyer is driven by humor. They love it when you seem fun and they make buying decisions based on funny music lyrics, puns, and gifs throughout your sales pages, sales emails, Facebook ads, and brand photos. This person thinks you seem like a good time and fun to work with so they want to be a part of whatever you’re offering.

Buyer Type #2: Red – Bart // Fast Decision Makers

This buyer knows in their gut they want to work with you. This person is the type of buyer who will never read a long-form sales page. They will scan your offer, and if it’s not clear how to buy right away they will get frustrated, forget, and bounce off your website page.

Image of Bart leaning on skateboard with text describing fast decision makers
Image of Marge with text describing deep connection decision makers

Buyer Type #3: Blue – Marge // Deep Connection Decision Makers

This buyer is very visual and feels connected to your brand through strong visual imagery, videos, and stories that paint a picture. This person wants to buy when they feel connected to your story and you can pull them in with a vision without having to push with pain. 

Buyer Type #4: Green – Lisa // Detail-Oriented Decision Maker

This buyer is driven by details and data. They want to know right from the beginning if the offer is specifically for them. They’re also the type who will read your entire long-form sales page. Once they start reading, they have to finish and they will still write you to ask questions. Asking questions is how they start the sales conversation to make a buying decision.

*All photos from @marketandmedia on Instagram

Image of Lisa with text describing detail-oriented decision maker

Checklist for Optimizing The Words on Your Website to Sell More Using The Simpsons Framework:

1. Red/Bart: Did you include a button at the top of your offer page that sends them directly to the pricing section or put the pricing right at the top? Did you include a testimonial near the top button? This is for the Reds/Barts buyer types. They are a fast decision-maker and want to purchase right away.

2. Blue/Marge: Did you include strong branded visuals/photos near the top of your offer page? Did you share your story about what inspired you to create the offer further down the page? This is for the Blues/Marge buyer type. They want to feel deeply connected to you and your story.

3. Green/Lisa: Did you make it super clear and identify who the offer is for at the top of the page before they scroll? This is for the Greens/Lisa buyer type. They will be asking themselves, “Is this really for me?” if you don’t clearly indicate who the offer is for from the start.

4. Yellow/Homer: Did you add something fun or funny at the top of the offer page? It could be music lyrics, puns, gifs, or even doing something funny in the branded photos of yourself. This is for the Yellow/Homer buyer type. They want to know that you don’t take yourself too seriously and you like to have a good time.

Whether you’re an established or emerging business owner these methods will help you triple your sales results when you apply them to any copy you need to write for your online business.

Are You Ready to Write Better Copy and Increase Sales Results? Here are some of my personal recommendations for writing better copy…

Read great writers’ books:

Hire a copywriter for the following:

  • Messaging for your website, product, or next offer
  • Storytelling in your emails, sales pages, and organic/paid copy
  • Gathering customer voice data for your launch
  • Marketing for your launch sales page or sales emails

Podcasts to get inspiration for writing better copy:

Join my free newsletter or paid copywriting membership (good for when you’re on a budget):

  • Grab my Triple Your Email Open Rates to get started with my free newsletter. Maybe you’ve ghosted your email list or you can’t remember the last time you scrubbed your email list. Grab my triple email open rates and know exactly what to say to make your next offer.
  • My Copy Sales Booster Template Membership for emerging and established service providers, ecomm folks, and course creators. Get a taste of what it's like to shave 15 to 20 hours off your work week with my copy templates. Go to this link and USE CODE: TWIN7 to get started with your 2 week trial for $7

I have written high-converting copy for more than 475+ projects earning my clients millions of dollars. I am also the copywriter for personal brands and service providers who want to sell more of their service or offer with the words on their website.

What most surprised you, or what do you still want to know? Let us know your thoughts below!

More About Sage Polaris

Sage Polaris has written high converting copy for more than 475+ projects earning them millions of dollars. She helps personal brands and service providers sell more of their service or offer with the words on their website. 

She has worked with Teachable, Rick Mulready, and Lynne Twist. Basically, she makes money for the “internet famous” people we all look up to.

If you want to learn more about Sage Polaris, you can visit her company's website here.

Image of Sage Polaris

Serious Leaders Need Serious Leisure

It's easy to get caught up in the never-ending demands of work, and let your personal life fall to the wayside. We've all done it. The pressure to keep on slogging never ends, but what if making time for yourself was actually the best thing you could do for yourself and your organization? Explore the extraordinary world of “serious leisure” and how it's transforming the lives of leaders in unique ways.

Don't miss our Leaders' Discussion Guide for this episode below – perfect for your next team Lunch & Learn!

Serious Leaders Need Serious Leisure – Episode Highlights

  • Introduction to the concept of “serious leisure” and its significance for leaders and professionals (00:08)
  • Differentiate “serious leisure” from regular leisure and its potential benefits (01:27)
  • Hear from Charles Boinske about his childhood experience and early connection with fly fishing, his serious leisure pursuit, and its integration with his professional life (03:24)
  • Tina Dietz's personal journey with voice acting and the value it adds to her leadership skills (05:12)
  • Hear from Julie Ulstrup & Jen Coyne about each of their serious leisure pursuits (11:07)
  • Discover how our serious leisure pursuits impact our businesses and careers directly (13:33)
  • Identify the transformative potential of serious leisure on bringing authenticity to your leadership (21:13)

Full Transcript

Charles Boinske

That's it for me. It's the camaraderie part that is more important than anything else.

Tina Dietz 

There's a drop of inspiration, a dash of creativity, plenty of communication, and there you have it, our executive elixir. This is Drink From The Well. Hello, everyone. I'm Tina Dietz, your mystic of management. Today on Drink From the Well, serious leaders need serious leisure. It's easy to get caught up in the never-ending demands of work, and let your personal life fall to the wayside. We've all done it. The pressure to keep on slogging never ends, particularly for those of us in the C-suite. But, what if making time for yourself was actually the best thing you could do for yourself and your organization? But I'm not just talking about leisure, I'm talking about serious leisure.

David White

Get ready for leisure, leisure, leisure. It's not just relaxing, it's relaxing to the extreme!

Tina Dietz  

Okay, no. That's not what I'm talking about when I say serious leisure, thankfully. While most leisure activities can provide some form of recovery, serious leisure is when you're pursuing something that you enjoy as an amateur hobbyist or a volunteer in such a way that you're developing special skills and knowledge over time. Let me offer up a couple of examples. Leisure might be going to the beach, but serious leisure might be getting certified in scuba and regularly taking and planning scuba trips. Regular leisure might be listening to audiobooks, serious leisure might be learning to become a voice actor. It's all about diving headfirst into the world of your passion, rather than simply dipping your toe in. While everyday leisure is important for a whole host of reasons, serious leisure offers leaders even more. According to a study published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology, serious leisure offers CEOs a sense of freedom and relief from the demands of leadership as well as strong personal resources needed to rise up to their own expectations of leadership. In addition to being enjoyable, serious leisure gives you additional skills, a body of knowledge, and a community as part of the package. A number of well-known CEOs have avid hobbies that take years to master. A few notable examples include former Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer, who is an avid baker, and even keeps spreadsheets of cupcake and frosting recipes so that she can adapt them and make new ones. Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon is a bonafide DJ going by the name DJ D-Sol. Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak is a huge proponent and player of — wait for it — Segway polo. Yep, that's polo played not on a horse but on a Segway. Look it up on YouTube, and you're welcome. As you'll find out, being unique in your field may be as simple as kicking your feet back and enjoying some leisure. Seriously.

Charles Boinske 

Well, it's a bit of a story, but my family has always been outdoorsy.

Tina Dietz 

Charles Boinske, CFA, is the Chief Visionary Officer at Modera Wealth Management. He hails from his small town of Cumberland, Pennsylvania, where he first started cultivating his serious leisure pursuit of fly fishing.

Charles Boinske  

Early on, when I was six and a half years old, my dad passed away, and that was in January. In the following spring, one of my best friends and his father came to pick me up to take me out for the first day of trout fishing to get me out of the house and provide a positive experience after what had been a pretty negative experience as you might imagine. That day, sitting on the trout stream with my buddy David and his father, watching his father fly fish, left an enormous imprint on me. It sort of lit the fuse to what became a lifelong passion of mine.

Tina Dietz  

After that first fly fishing experience, here's how his passion developed.

Charles Boinske 

Well, I grew up, as you said, in Kimberton, Pennsylvania. The nice thing about Kimberton was it was a small town, a little village, not that far from Philadelphia. But there were trout streams pretty available that I could reach on my bicycle. So early on, either my parents dropped me off at the trout stream, which you could do without criticism in the 1970s, and left me there all day to fish and then would come back and pick me up at dark or I'd ride my bicycle over. I just remember the peace and quiet of the experience, and as an introverted person, the ability to recharge on a trout stream became a really important part of my mental health, just being able to detach from the workplace and the stresses of everyday life, and running a business eventually, to focus on little bugs that trout eat in beautiful places really provided me a tremendous meditative therapy.

Tina Dietz 

Like Charles, my story of serious leisure begins really young.  

Young Tina

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.  

Tina Dietz

Like really, really young. But when we were originally producing this episode, I didn't think to include my story at all. That's when my team stepped in and decided to record me at a team meeting.  I have been making mixtapes and recordings, I have been singing on stage and taking dance lessons for as long as I was allowed to do so. But when I got to college, I got really scared by the performing arts, I got scared by the politics of it, I got scared by the enormity of it, I got scared by the lifestyle of working all the nights and weekends, and I didn't think I'd be able to do all of that and have a family. And I really didn't believe that I was good enough. So I came as a big fish in a small pond growing up in a tiny little town where I graduated fourth out of 93 people. But the real world was a very different scenario. So I pivoted pretty hard. I took some time off, and I went back to school for psychology to become someone who helps teenagers. I missed the energy that it is to be with a group of people going on a shared journey, a shared emotional journey of the story of whatever's being performed on the stage. That's the thing that always really tickles my soul. But I didn't touch anything with a microphone from the age of about 19 until I was in my 30s again. I had this big gap where I was trying to make a life and I tried to set it aside as something that was childish, all that time that I had spent. It was when my mother introduced me to a woman named Toni Silveri that things started to change again. Toni Silveri was and still is an amazing voice actor, and she's also a voice agent. She lived right where we were in Western New York, and she was my mom's yoga student. She had started teaching classes out of her basement studio, and I was really interested because I'd always been curious about voice acting, but never even really considered it as a viable career option of any particular kind. But it turned out that in building my father's business with him, I had been building information products and using my voice to voice over the instructions for all of these massage videos that we were doing for his professional massage training company. Well, I gave those to Toni and she said, “I want to represent you.” And I was just over the moon. So I dove into voice acting. I just love being in the booth and getting direction and doing commercials. Then, Toni brought in someone named Pat Fraley, who is a legend in the industry, to teach a masterclass in audiobook narration. Well, I had an amazing time in that class, and I came away with two very important insights. One was that, “Holy crap, audiobook narration is a lot of work. Oh, my God, like this is a long-form marathon.” And the other question I had, I always laugh, the other insight was, “Why are my colleagues, my clients, the people I know through my business coaching practice, which is what I was doing at the time professionally, why aren't they doing audiobooks of the books that they're writing?” The self-publishing craze was right at its zeitgeist so people were self-publishing like crazy at the time, and nobody was doing audiobooks. And like any good entrepreneur, that led me down a research rabbit hole. Nobody was offering self-published authors or hybrid-published authors audiobook services. It was all traditional publishing where you basically give up your rights and your royalties, and you don't have a lot of creative control over what's going to happen with your audiobook. I got pissed off. I hung on to this idea of, “We should be able to solve this problem, we should be able to solve this problem.” For several years, the audiobook idea wouldn't go away. And I found myself in a place years later, in about 2014-2015, where I was the sole breadwinner for my family, and I was tired of coaching. I had just gotten fatigued, not so much by my clients but by the industry itself. And I thought, “Well, maybe it's time to pull the trigger on this audiobook service.” I surveyed a bunch of colleagues at a conference, and they were really interested. I decided to start a pilot, and it took off so fast that within a year, producing audiobooks had completely eclipsed my coaching practice. That was the seeds of what is now Twin Flames Studios today. I turned my hobby into a business. But there are so many more ways that we can benefit as leaders from the pastimes that we're passionate about. When we come back from the break, we'll hear more about why busy leaders make the time for serious leisure when we've already got so much on our plates. Time is a very precious commodity, and serious leisure pursuits take a lot of it. But what I've discovered is that when I don't take the time for the things I love to do, I die a little inside. Taking the time in my evenings for an improv group or storytelling group or practicing stand-up comedy leaves me feeling far more energized and fulfilled than I would be without it. It's not a draining experience, it's an uplifting experience. These things that feed our souls give us more energy, and they give us back more of who we are so that when we go back into the pressure and busyness of work and leadership, we feel refreshed. That's what's true for me. Here's what's true for a couple of my colleagues and Charles.

Julie Ulstrup 

Hi, I'm Julie Ulstrup. I am the CEO and Founder of Leadership Accelerator for Women. My serious leisure activity is Kung Fu and Tai Chi martial arts. I have been a martial arts student for just over eight years. The reason I started my martial arts practice and my learning and love of it is because right before I got married, I was told that it was a great way to get in shape, and that's true. And when I started, I was probably the oldest person in the class by 20 years, easily. But I didn't care because what happened is there's this body, mind, and spirit connection in martial arts. I get there and it is all about me using my body in a way that is strong and controlled, and using my mind to be very intentional about what I'm doing, how I'm doing it, and why I'm doing it.

Jen Coyne 

I'm Jen Coyne, co-founder and CEO of the PEAK Fleet. My time outside of work has almost always included serious leisure. In particular, I spent a lot of time creating glass art, fiber art, and crafting in many other ways. What makes me continue to spend time on these hobbies when other aspects of life and owning my own business are so demanding is the reward and fulfillment that I get from it.

Charles Boinske 

When you're fishing — it's hard to describe — the best way I can describe it is bouncing around along some dirt road in a rented SUV looking for a trout stream that you've read about or heard about, or is maybe mythology, where there are really nice fish, with a buddy, and finding that spot and catching some fish, releasing them, and then stopping at a bar and on the way out of town or out away from the stream, having a beer and a burger. And recounting the whole thing is the whole experience. That's it for me. It's the camaraderie part that is more important than anything else.

Tina Dietz 

The personal benefits of hobbies are clear. But how can our serious leisure pursuits impact our businesses and careers in a more direct way? We'll find out more after this quick break.  We're back and talking about how serious leisure pursuits impact our businesses and careers in a very direct and material way. For myself, I've had a lot of careers. I've been a therapist, I've been the owner of multiple startup businesses, I've been a business coach, and now I'm the CEO of an audio production company specializing in folks who really want to lead with their voice. In every single one of those places in roles, my ability to communicate has always been paramount, and my ability to create relationships has been a lot of what I've learned through the performing arts, how to stand in somebody else's shoes, how to create a space of belonging, how to be able to respond and build together — this translates to building business together, building a vision together, building strategy together, and managing my team. Every single one of the skills that I've learned through the performing arts has been fundamental to every role I've ever had professionally, but especially as a leader. I don't imagine, necessarily, that what I've learned on the stage means that I'd end up at a television show or on Broadway. Maybe there's 10% of me that holds out some hope there. But every day I'm in a leadership position whether I'm at the front of the room, front of the stage, or I'm part of my team on a day-to-day basis. What I've learned through acting, singing, dancing, and creating shows together, developing that shared space, developing a shared creative endeavor, all of that has given me much more depth and appreciation of the variety of human expression. It's made me softer, more flexible, more creative, and more interested in taking somebody else's point of view. As you can imagine, that's made me a very effective salesperson. I'm excellent at marketing and developing relationships, long-term and short-term, getting to the heart of the matter, and getting to the meat. And rather than necessarily having to push my own agenda all the time, I've learned how to create a give-and-take flow, just like we would do an improv building on each other's premises. Yes, and, yes, and. That's taken a lot of work on my part because when I was a little kid, and you might not have been able to hear this in my voice from that little audio clip, man, I wanted my own way all the time. The training that I've learned in relationships from the stage has made me more judicious about how I can work through problem-solving with an individual or a team and be that flexible, transparent leader that I really want to be. That has translated directly to the bottom line of our company, to the retention of staff on the team, and for us all being able to grow together and create a healthy culture. It's not perfect, but leaning into what I've been able to glean from all of these years of being a performer has definitely made me a director in my own life and for my business who is able to hold a vision that moves us all forward. Now, turning your hobby into a business and gleaning the skills as a leader from the stage, those are what I've gotten really specifically from my serious leisure pursuits. But there is more available than that. We have endless expression for what our hobbies can provide in our businesses. And Charles's story is about another avenue of leadership and business opportunity that opened up for him in his serious leisure pursuit of fly fishing.

Charles Boinske

The genesis of fly fishing and business merging together was a desire to get to know some of the clients I had better. The people that I was attracted to happened to be interested in the outdoors. But talk would eventually turn to fishing and the question would be asked, “Well, where do you fish?” and, “Have you ever fished here?” and, “If you don't know this area, I'd be happy to take you in.” So it's just sort of started one person at a time, going with one person fishing and then maybe two. And then it built itself over the years to having, every winter, a dinner where we invite a luminary from the fly fishing world, some famous fly fisherman, man or woman, to present to the group. We would have a big dinner in King of Prussia with 125 people, and we would not mention business, not one iota. It was all about fishing. I think there was some trepidation among some of the attendees that we invited thinking this was going to be a sales pitch. And it was. It was a sales pitch for fly fishing and nothing else. And so the authenticity of that, of just wanting to further this sport for the sake of the environment, and for the sake of people's leisure, health, and all the things that you think are important, it just blossomed. So it became clear that the next step would be for us to create an association. So we created the Warriors Mark, which is the local stream, Warriors Mark Fly Fishing Association. There are no dues, and you don't have to even fly fish to be a part of it. You just have to say, “I'd like to be in.” It's the most democratic, egalitarian sort of organization there is. But people like to be part of a community, and the enthusiasm and passion around fly fishing is so contagious and infectious that it creates this force of its own. So during COVID, given that people had limited options, the local streams became very full of anglers. And that's a problem if you want to have time to yourself and be on your own. So we solved that issue by leveraging some of the relationships that I developed over the years and finding a piece of ground where we could lease the stream for a year and make it available only to people who were invited to fish there. So it would never be crowded. You would be the only person fishing on this stream. It gives you a place to recharge. It was extremely successful to the extent we've done it another year. We don't charge anybody to fish there. You don't have to be a client of the firm. You just have to need some peace and quiet, and we'll make it available to you and you can go fish. So I've always found that there are sort of two things that have to be true. You need to be able to do this, whatever “this” is because it speaks to you in some way, not because you think it's the way that you're going to grow your business. It may turn out to be a way that you grow your business, but it has to be authentic. It has to be something that you're passionate about, that you're going to do regardless, at least in my experience. And then secondarily, I think, from my perspective, having a bright line between turning it into a marketing event, quote, unquote, for your business, versus just an experience for people that you care about, you need to be careful about that. I've always drawn a very sharp line between talking about business and fishing. Fishing is fishing. It may lead to business but fishing is fishing and business is business.

Tina Dietz 

Enjoyment, sharing, community, mutually beneficial relationships, all of that sounds a lot better than the hustle and grind, doesn't it? And what a beautiful opportunity to bring more of our authentic selves into our work rather than dividing our identity between a work self and a personal self. I can tell you from personal experience and from all the companies and leaders I've worked with across 30 industries or so, trying to wear a superhero mask at work every damn day is a recipe for burnout. And if you have a team, they know you're not really being yourself, so how can they bring all of themselves to their work, either? Charles has really good advice about integrating all of who you are into your leadership.

Charles Boinske 

I have seen too many people reach the age of retirement and not have interests outside of work. Just in my line of work, I've seen that too frequently. So for your own personal self-interest, developing a broad range of interests, otherwise, your identity becomes attached to your business or your profession, and we all know that has to end at some point. So that's the first thing. Second thing is, from my selfish perspective, I believe that when I spend time with someone on a trout stream or on a fishing trip, I really get to understand who that person is and what makes them tick. So when it comes time to advise them about a certain issue, if they happen to be a client, the ability to communicate on that issue is at a different level. There's already so much trust developed through both professional and personal interaction, that it makes your ability to offer advice much more effective. And then from your team's perspective, I think as a leader, you need to set the example of being passionate. There are too many folks that go through life, unfortunately, without a real passion. Showing through example how you use your hobby or your sport or your interest to your own personal advantage when it comes to decompressing and being present when you need to be present in the office, I think, is a very valuable example to set. Being authentic, taking the risk of sharing who you are with your colleagues and your clients and professionals in your industry is an extremely hard thing to do for a lot of people. But it's extremely important to leaders. You need to wear who you are on your sleeve. That's the most important thing I would share with younger folks, early career people. Just be authentic, be who you are, don't be afraid to share your interests, and I think the rewards that come from doing so can be really significant both on the personal and professional level. No one wants to be led by someone who doesn't take the risk of sharing who they really are.

Tina Dietz 

Take the risk of sharing who you really are and bring your whole self to your leadership. How do you feel about that notion? Does it feel vulnerable or weak or strange? Being truly and fully authentic is a powerful concept, and the idea brings up questions like, who the heck are we, really? And how do we find identity and belonging in a world that often seems uncertain, at best? How can we learn to embrace all of who we are, warts and all, and not just be a leader or be a boss, but be someone who is truly worth listening to. These are the conversations and topics we'll be exploring further in season two. So make sure that you follow us on your favorite podcast platform so you know when we're back and it's time once again for us to gather around the well for more stories and wisdom. Remember, you can get the discussion guide for this episode, along with transcripts, show notes, and more resources at DrinkFromTheWellPodcast.com

Thanks for joining us. Drink From The Well is an original production of Twin Flames Studios and produced by our magical team, including Stephen George, Nadia Cox, Alayna Carley, and me, Tina Dietz. Special thanks to David White for lending his amazing voice talent to our episode today, and to my mom, Christine Zebrowski, for getting on tape my very first time holding a microphone when I was 23 months old.

About our Guest Experts – Serious Leaders Need Serious Leisure

Charles Boinske, CFA, is a distinguished financial professional and visionary leader serving as the Chief Visionary Officer at Modera Wealth Management. With over 36 years of experience in the finance industry, Charles has earned a reputation for his dedication to empowering clients and colleagues alike. As a Certified Financial Analyst (CFA), Charles brings a wealth of financial expertise to his role, underpinned by a commitment to helping individuals and organizations achieve their financial goals.

Jennifer (Jen) Coyne is a consultant, coach, trainer, and speaker focusing on improving organizational cultures and helping people find and live their most authentic life. Jen has long had an entrepreneurial and creative energy, including a love for creating fused glass art. In business, she has applied that spirit to leading change for 25 years. Helping people thrive is her passion and her reason for creating The PEAK Fleet.

Julie Ulstrup is an award-winning leader, photographer, and transformational speaker. Ulstrup is the CEO of Leadership Accelerator for Women, helping high achieving women leverage their leadership skills to collapse the time it takes to get from where they are now to where they want to be.

Episode Featured Resources

Modera Wealth Management

The PEAK FLEET

Leadership Accelerator for Women

And check out these resources to the right from some of our Author Thought Leaders around the impact of leisure.

Leaders’ Discussion Guide – Serious Leaders Need Serious Leisure:

How to prepare to lead this discussion session with your team:
  1. Reflect on your own experience with serious leisure or passionate hobbies and how they may have influenced your professional life. Be open and honest about your personal journey.
Questions to discuss WITH your team about serious leisure pursuits:
  1. Have them listen to the episode first to create common ground and context for the conversation.
  2. Ask each team member to briefly share if they have a serious leisure pursuit or passionate hobby outside of work. If not, they can share what interests they would like to explore in their leisure time.
  3. Encourage team members to share how their own hobbies or serious leisure pursuits have affected their well-being, stress management, and overall happiness. Discuss the idea that these pursuits can provide energy rather than drain it.
  4. ADVANCED: Ask team members to share one actionable step they will take to embrace their authentic selves at work or explore a new serious leisure pursuit. Encourage accountability and support within the team.

Inspired to turn your Voice into influence and become a Thought Leader worth listening to?

Let's Talk

Leading With Influence and Compassion, Not Just Management and Instruction

By Chris O'Byrne, CEO of JetLaunch Publishing

Two men working together at a desk

Leadership is no longer limited to a position or title. It’s a dynamic interaction that relies heavily on influence and compassion and goes beyond mere management and instruction. As industries evolve, the characteristics that make for successful leadership are changing, and the role of a leader is being redefined.

A leader’s influence includes authority over team members and the ability to inspire, motivate and guide them toward common goals. It’s about understanding individual team member’s unique strengths and needs and leveraging them to align with the organization’s vision.

Compassionate leadership adds another layer to this intricate balance. It recognizes the human side of business and knows that empathy, caring, and a genuine interest in the well-being of others can create a more positive and productive work environment. Combining influence and compassion in leadership goes beyond the traditional approach and paves the way for a more human and practical leadership style.

Building Influence in Leadership

Influence in leadership is an important trait that impacts how leaders manage their teams, interact with peers, and contribute to the organization’s success. Knowing how to cultivate and exercise influence is critical for seasoned professionals, especially those on the path from success to prominence.

Understanding influence

Influence isn’t just about wielding power or control; it’s also about knowing how to lead, inspire, and create positive change. It’s about being a role model, shaping opinions, and achieving results that align with the organization’s values and goals.

The importance of influence in leadership

Influence plays a critical role in leadership, helping to align teams around common goals, foster collaboration, build trust, and establish stable professional relationships. Effectively influencing others can make the difference between simple management and authentic leadership.

Methods for building influence

Building influence requires a combination of skills, behaviors, and strategies. These include clear communication, consistent action, integrity, active listening, and empathy. Building influence doesn’t happen overnight; it requires continuous effort, practice, and self-reflection.

Challenges in building influence

Like any complex skill, building influence has its challenges. These include overcoming skepticism, navigating organizational politics, or dealing with conflicting interests. To successfully build influence, it’s important to understand and prepare for these challenges.

Influence and ethical considerations

The use of influence must be based on ethical principles. This includes respecting the autonomy of others, being transparent, acting with integrity, and ensuring that influence is used for positive outcomes that align with company values.

Measure and evaluate influence

Measuring influence can be complex, but looking at results, feedback, team engagement, and alignment with business goals can provide valuable insights. Regular assessments and adjustments help to continually improve and build your influence.

Building influence is an essential component of effective leadership, including understanding, meaning, methods, challenges, ethics, and evaluation. Developing this capability helps leaders inspire teams, drive positive change, overcome challenges, and contribute to the organization’s overall success. This multi-faceted approach requires ongoing effort and commitment but is important for anyone seeking to build their authority and influence.

Compassionate Leadership

Compassionate Leadership is a philosophy that combines empathy, understanding, and genuine care for employees with the tasks and goals of the leader. In the following, we address the most important facets:

Understanding and empathy for employees

Actively listening to employees and being present is the essence of compassionate leadership. Understanding what your team members are saying, their challenges, and what they want and responding with empathy fosters a sense of appreciation and connection within the team.

Create a culture of well-being

Compassionate leaders value work-life balance and create an environment that promotes mental and physical health. They recognize the importance of well-being to overall performance and productivity and work proactively to create a positive atmosphere.

Recognition and appreciation

Recognizing and appreciating team members’ accomplishments is vital in compassionate leadership. Regular feedback, positive reinforcement, and celebrating successes large and small contribute to a strong sense of accomplishment and belonging.

Leading with authenticity and vulnerability

Authenticity in leadership fosters trust, and showing vulnerability makes leaders more approachable. Genuine interactions and a willingness to admit mistakes can build a deeper connection with team members and enhance the overall leadership experience.

Mentoring and supporting professional development

Compassionate leadership includes investing in personal development plans and providing opportunities and resources for success. These efforts demonstrate a genuine interest in individual success and professional development and align with the organization’s overall goals.

The far-reaching impact of compassionate leadership

Compassionate leadership impacts the workplace, community engagement, and organizational reputation. A compassionate approach often leads to long-term employee loyalty and contributes to the stability and success of the organization.

Compassionate leadership goes beyond mere management and recognizes that organizations are made up of people with individual needs and emotions. Compassionate leaders create an environment where individuals thrive by focusing on empathy, well-being, recognition, authenticity, and growth. This humane and effective approach fits perfectly with modern business values and can be a critical factor in a company’s success.

Practical tips for building influence through empathetic leadership

Building influence through empathetic leadership is a delicate balance that, when done right, can lead to remarkable results in an organization. Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman has been influential in understanding empathy in leadership (Goleman, D. 1995. “Emotional Intelligence.” New York: Bantam Books).

Here are some practical tips:

Build trust through transparency and integrity

Trust is the foundation of influence, and leaders can foster it through transparency and integrity. Honest communication and consistent action help employees feel safe and aligned with their leaders’ vision.

Empathy and connection with team members

Part of being an empathetic leader is understanding your team members and connecting with them personally. Leaders can create meaningful connections that increase their impact by showing genuine interest in their well-being and professional development.

Set clear goals and expectations

Clear goals and expectations help team members understand their roles and responsibilities. A shared vision promotes alignment and enables effective collaboration, strengthening the leader’s influence on the team.

Lead by example

Leaders who lead by example set a positive standard for the team. They demonstrate commitment and integrity by aligning with the team’s values and expectations, further strengthening their influence.

Promoting collaboration and open communication

Encouraging collaboration and open communication within the team creates a supportive environment where ideas can flourish. Leaders who actively engage with their teams foster creativity and problem-solving, key influence components.

Invest in professional development

Investing in team members’ professional development shows that the leader values their growth and success. Offering training and development opportunities can foster loyalty and engagement and strengthen the leader’s influence.

Meet challenges with empathy and determination

Meeting challenges with empathy and determination builds team resilience. Leaders who address problems with empathy and determination demonstrate strength and compassion, strengthening their influence.

Building influence through compassionate leadership is a multi-faceted approach that requires commitment, empathy, clarity, leading by example, collaboration, investment in growth, and resilience. By focusing on these practical tips, leaders can cultivate powerful influence that resonates with their teams and contributes positively to organizational success.

Wrapping it up

Leading through influence combined with the principles of compassionate leadership is a powerful paradigm for modern leadership. This article has shown that influence is about understanding, inspiring, and creating positive change. Compassion adds depth to this influence by recognizing the intrinsic value of people in the workplace and treating employees with empathy and care.

Experienced professionals will find practical strategies for integrating influence and compassion into their leadership style in this article. The path to success has many facets, from building trust and rapport with team members to setting clear goals and investing in professional development. It requires dedication, authenticity, empathy, and ethical consideration. Read The Speed of Trust by Stephen M.R. Covey (Covey, S.M.R. 2006. New York: Free Press) to learn more.

The fusion of influence and compassion creates an effective human leadership approach. It recognizes that people with individual needs, emotions, and aspirations drive organizations. Leaders who take these principles to heart can inspire their teams, drive innovation, foster long-term loyalty, and contribute positively to organizational success.

Even as the business world evolves, influence and compassionate leadership principles remain relevant. They are consistent with today’s values and timeless qualities for those seeking to build authority, influence, and prominence in their industry. By embodying these principles, leaders make themselves successful and contribute to a more empathetic and innovative business world.

What most surprised you, or what do you still want to know? Let us know your thoughts below!

More About Chris O'Byrne

Chris O'Byrne is the CEO of JetLaunch Publishing and COO of the Strategic Advisor Board. He makes leaders influential by turning them into international bestselling authors and featuring them on the cover of Pivot, a leading business magazine that reaches over 30 million people.|

If you want to learn more about Jess Todtfeld, you can visit his company's website here.

Chris O'Byrne Headshot

Good Point, Boomer – Cultivating Intergenerational Communication at Work

In a time when four different generations are all present in the workplace, how can we encourage more inclusive leadership? Host Tina Dietz (a Gen Xer) is joined by a Gen Z, a Millennial, and two Baby Boomers to explore the challenges and opportunities of leading a multigenerational workforce. These leaders share their insights on the future of workplaces, communication challenges influenced by generational differences, and the need to move beyond categorizations and biases.

Don't miss our Leaders' Discussion Guide for this episode below – perfect for your next team Lunch & Learn!

Cultivating Intergenerational Communication at Work – Episode Highlights

  • Learn the difference between what a multigenerational workforce is versus a post-generational workforce (6:14)
  • Discover some of the most common communication challenges that companies face that are, at least in part, influenced by generational differences (8:33)
  • Find out what assumptions young people wish that older people would stop making (11:37) and what leaders who have been around for several decades want their younger counterparts to gain as they navigate the working world (14:03)
  • Learn how leaders start to become aware of their own unconscious bias and how to move forward from there (18:05)
  • Identify techniques leaders can use to lessen fear and increase their curiosity needed to thrive in a workplace environment (24:00)

Full Transcript

Tina Dietz

A Gen X, a Millennial, a Gen Z, and two Boomers walk into a podcast. So let's see what happens. There's a drop of inspiration, a dash of creativity, plenty of communication, and there you have it, our executive elixir. This is Drink From The Well.

Welcome to Drink From The Well, fellow leader. I'm your sorceress of strategy, Tina Dietz. For the first time in modern history, there are four distinct generations in the workplace all at the same time. Some, like the boomers, are on their way out, while Gen Z are just starting to work their way in. Millennials carry weight as the biggest generation in the workforce, overshadowing Gen X who are still there, but seemingly invisible as usual, speaking from experience. This melting pot of age makes up the roughly 157 million people who are employed in the US alone. And as we all know, when you have a group of diverse people, differences are bound to happen. So how can a multigenerational team succeed? How can you lead in the best way? And what's happening among leaders and teams as we navigate for different generations all at the same time? Today, we tackle the challenges of leading a multigenerational workforce with our multigenerational panel. Let me introduce them to you now. Gabriela Moreno is a student at the University of Florida studying political science, mass communications, and history. Currently, she is the editor-in-chief of Rowdy, the largest student-run magazine in the nation. She's also the Assistant Director of the Phi Alpha Delta pre-law fraternity. Welcome, Gabi.

Gabriela Moreno

Thank you for having me. I'm really excited.

Tina Dietz

Dr. Valerie Rene Sheppard is a self-mastery expert and the CEO of the Heartly Center for Mindfulness and Self-Mastery. Using the wisdom in her international best-selling book, Living Happy to Be Me, Dr. Sheppard provides a self-mastery curriculum that was the subject of her 2021 doctoral dissertation. She received her PhD in consciousness and human potential from Gateway University. Thanks for joining us, Valerie. 

Dr. Valerie Sheppard

Thank you for having me, Tina. This is an exciting topic. I love playing on both ends of the spectrum and I can't wait to hear what your beautiful guests have to share with me.

Tina Dietz

Isokoy (Koy) McDermott is an award-winning executive speaker and entrepreneur. He is the founder of Leaders Inspire Leaders, an employee retention company focused on creating cross-generational communication and coaching millennial managers to unleash their full potential. Koy also hosts the very excellent Leaders Inspire Leaders podcast. Koy, welcome to the show. 

Koy McDermott

Thank you so much for having me, Tina. My goodness, you've put together such an amazing panel. I'm super excited to chat with everyone today.  

Tina Dietz

It is a bomb panel. I have to agree with you on that. And of course, Bruce Mayhew is a corporate trainer, coach, and conference speaker and he specializes in new leadership development and generational differences. As the President of Bruce Mayhew Consulting, he has over 20 years of experience helping clients achieve their professional development and leadership goals. I appreciate you joining us, Bruce. 

Bruce Mayhew

It's terrific to be here. I'm really excited to hear what everybody has to say.

Tina Dietz

Yeah, me too. Well, my wonderful panel, I'd like to begin by looking into our proverbial crystal ball and talk about what is one way you predict that workplaces are going to evolve in the next 20 years? Koy, let’s start with you. 

Koy McDermott

One way, and to keep it very simple, is going to be choice. And not only choice on the employer, which we have seen, but more so choice on the employee. There's going to be a lot of power with the employees to choose not only where they work, but how they work, and what's going to make them the most productive.

Tina Dietz

Thanks, Koy. Let's go to you, Bruce. 

Bruce Mayhew

It's a terrific question. I think that from a corporate perspective, we're going to see best practices become more about how we approach tasks versus how we do a task. So I think it's going to be more of those agile work environments that people are going to be embracing, as opposed to, “This is how we did it yesterday and this is how we're going to do it today.”

Tina Dietz

Brilliant. And Gabi, what are your thoughts on this?

Gabriela Moreno

I think there's going to be a fine line that we're going to manage to distinguish between how social media can be a personal platform versus a workplace platform and how we get to integrate a bunch of different styles of communication into one platform. So it's going to be interesting to see how we can distinguish that line just because I feel like, now, we're still trying to distinguish it and it's getting a little bit confusing. And that's why there's a lot of problems with social media. 

Tina Dietz

Oh, that's probably a topic we could do an entire other episode on, I would imagine. Dr. Valerie, let's go to you on this topic of one way that workforces are going to change in the next 20 years. 

Dr. Valerie Sheppard

So I'm not so sure this is a prediction as much as a wishlist thing. This is an item that I'd like to see, more humanity in the workplace. So I would like to see a focus on how we navigate the tensions between people interacting and the advent of technology, and how we manage that. I believe in the future, we're going to get more comfortable with the separation because of technology, people not quote unquote, coming into an office or being colocated. And there are some humanistic dynamics that are at a low point because of that shift. And we're seeing it all over the world. And there are problems in individuals as a result. I'm predicting that workplaces will take more responsibility.

Tina Dietz 

I definitely would put that on my wish list as well. And now we've got, across the board, different aspects that each of you have defined as a prediction for the future. Now, Koy, I'd love to back up and talk with you about an important distinction I heard you make between what a multigenerational workforce is versus a post-generational workforce and us wanting to move into this idea of being inside of a post-generational workforce. Can you clarify the distinction there for us? 

Koy McDermott

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I feel like with many things that we face, you've got what I like to call the iceberg effect, right? Things that are right on top, and then things that are below the surface that really is what's driving an individual. A multigenerational workforce is truly based on the tip of the iceberg, what you can see based on generations, based on age, those particular things. A post-generational workforce is really segmenting individuals and understanding that everyone is nuanced. We're now moving into a place where we're looking at different behaviors and values and characteristics, and we're looking at the total person as opposed to just looking at the tip of the iceberg. So in a nutshell, multigenerational is simply based on age, generations that have all been distinguished, post-generational is now flipping that perspective and saying, “The lens that I used to see my workforce through has not worked, and is no longer going to work.” And it's moving into this post-generational workforce where we are able to see an individual as a total individual and not just simply based on what we see on the surface.

Tina Dietz

We really do need to acknowledge that we are only at the tip of the iceberg. And that is an important thing, I think, for our audience to understand. Even though we're talking about some things that may be related to generation, there's so much more at play here. There's how you grew up, there's where you grew up, there's family influence, there's values, there's morals, there's your background culturally, there's so many things at play here. That being said, Bruce, I do want to talk with you about communication. Communication is one of the fundamental points that we talk about on this particular show. It's fundamental to everything in the workplace operating smoothly, and in fact, everything in our lives operating as smoothly as possible. So in the 20 years you've been working with companies around communication, what are some of the most common communication challenges that companies face that are, at least, in part, influenced by generational differences, acknowledging that there's other things at play as well?

Bruce Mayhew 

Yeah, and there really are so many things at play. But the generational components, for sure, impact, and a lot of it reflects on what Koy was just talking about. It used to be, years ago, that Boomers were the mass population in the workforce and everybody was kind of the same. And when millennials came into the scene, and they were a large population, they sort of disrupted things, and everybody treated every millennial like the other millennial. And we're really seeing now that people are individuals, regardless of what age group they're coming from. So when it comes to communication issues, looking at preconceived notions and biases around communication, or simply not being able to communicate effectively, is an important aspect. So I would say one of the main challenges around communication is treating everybody that you encounter or that you work with or that you lead as if they are you and that they're experiencing the same things that you used to experience as an employee and have come up through the ranks. But things have changed dramatically in the last 10-20 years. And what a 20 or 30-year-old has to deal with in a workplace environment today is very different than what a 20 or 30-year-old had to deal with in a workplace 20 or 30 years ago, right? The third challenge that I'll talk about right now is simply, like I said earlier, simply not being able to communicate well, yourself. So being challenged with difficult situations, and not knowing how to handle yourself in that situation or handle somebody else who's responding to that difficult situation. So a lot of times, people approach a difficult situation and they get into that fight or flight situation. And difficult conversations don't have to be conflict like that. They’re allowed to be uncomfortable, but they also are very allowed to be respectful. I think what we need to do is learn how to communicate in those challenging times as well.

Tina Dietz

Let's continue to build on this idea of communication and respect, assumptions, and the like. And Gabi, being the editor of Rowdy Magazine, you've certainly seen the online animosity between Gen Z and the Baby Boomers. That animosity is actually what inspired the title of today's show, Good Point, Boomer. So what assumptions about young people do you wish that older people would stop making?

Gabriela Moreno

Gosh, there's a lot. I think the main one would be the word privileged and that we should be okay with what we have because we are the first generation to have grown up in a digital age. And the digital world is a blessing and a curse because it has brought so many opportunities to communicate with so many different people from around the world. And it has brought us to have this deep understanding of other cultures, which I think is very special about Gen Z. That's what's really exciting about us taking on the next generation and kind of leading, even this country, because I think that's the biggest thing that we have that is beneficial. But it has also brought a lot of emotional stress and grief. No one is helping us navigate through it because not only are we navigating the world of being like a teenager and your early 20s and still trying to figure yourself out, we're also navigating a world digitally where we're seeing that whatever is happening in the world all at once is just being fed to us. And we sometimes feel really lonely in that world because yes, you can communicate with everyone, but there's also a sense of it's only you and a phone. So are you really communicating with people if you can't physically be with them? So we kind of have to adapt to it ourselves, or we're teaching ourselves. And it's something that's very stressful, and I'm still learning with it. But I'm not asking older generations because they're not going through the same thing that we're going through. The biggest thing is, yes, we are privileged, and you're happy that we have all of these opportunities. But there's also a mental health note that we need others to pay attention to because unfortunately, that's where a lot of devastations are happening. And it's because we're not being listened to. That was really dark at one point.

Tina Dietz

And that's okay, or as my kids would say, that's a vibe. We understand that, and mentoring young people is certainly something that we do here in my company, and I have two teenagers at home. So everything that you just said, I have heard reflected, the sense of being completely connected and yet isolated at the same time. And that creates this odd conundrum in this mental emotional space. So, Dr. Valerie, I'd like to get your insight and response on this. What do leaders who have been around for several decades, let's say, want their younger counterparts to gain as they navigate this working world, or even in life in general?

Dr. Valerie Sheppard

Thank you so much. And I just want to acknowledge you, Gabi. And I feel like it was a beautiful setup for what I do, which is focused on that transition for young people into this space of this whole world of technology and humanism and, “What is it that I need to do?” So it's the centerpiece of my work. It's what I love doing. So thank you for that. And it's a beautiful thing to acknowledge. And I didn't hear it as dark, I just heard it as humanism, the human side of your generation. What I would love, not necessarily speaking only to this generation because what I think I talked about is universal, and a couple of your guests, Koy and Bruce have mentioned this is that we have to get beyond categories and constructs of separation, as I call them. When we are dealing with a whole population of people based on a couple of nuggets that are descriptors of a category in which we've placed them, we are not at all getting to who that person, on an individual level, really is. And so the whole idea here is for the older generation, and others to get beyond categorizations, get beyond “othering,” where we make ourselves the in group. “Well, this is the way we do it. This is the way I was taught. This is the way it's always worked. Why can't they do it our way?” Hear ourselves saying “they,” hear ourselves making us the right ones and them the wrong ones. And the tool that I talk about is how can you get into curiosity? Where is your outer edge of growth? And how does the “other” actually have something to lend, something to demonstrate, something to share that actually moves the entire dynamic forward, you and them? So it's about collaboration and connection. As the older person, stop believing that my age and my tenure somehow give me the keys or the endowment. How can I believe that my tenure just means I've been on earth a little bit longer, and that it doesn't mean I still don't have opportunities for growth and expansion and evolution? And when we're in a workplace together to elevate ourselves back to the common mission and purpose can be an anchor point, can be a place where we could sit in meetings and say, “Okay, before we get talking, and everybody's isms come out, how about if we focus on what's the map? Where are we going? What have we accomplished?” If we start meetings in celebration of what people have brought to the table, regardless of their generation, like what have we accomplished thanks to what they contributed, it's a way to get people on to common ground. So for me, it's what your other guests, Bruce and Koy brought up, and I love it, is going beyond labeling, being curious about how can I benefit from what you bring? Not how do you benefit from what I bring all the time. How can I learn from you? And then can we celebrate the collective consciousness that we create when we come together as a team, as an organization?

Tina Dietz

There's a lot of meat for us to unpack there. Something I heard you start to point to, Dr. Valerie, is this idea that we have to be curious about how we operate in the world. And sometimes we don't know what we don't know. So I want to go to Koy and have you talk about unconscious bias. How do leaders start to become aware of their own unconscious bias so that we can move into this space of curiosity and move beyond how we may have done things in the past?

Koy McDermott 

Absolutely. I love the topic of bias because bias is something that is not only extremely interesting, it's something that we all have in common. And it's one of the things that we don't really like to talk about because whenever we begin to talk about it, we start to see that we have bias, even in the smallest things. For example, the cup that I'm drinking out of today, I absolutely love. When I was making my tea, I searched for this cup. It brings me to so many examples that I have with my daughter, with regard to my coffee mug or my tea cup or maybe Saturday mornings, you've got a favorite bowl that you love to eat your cereal out of. I know I did when I was a young kid. And if we can get to the truth of the matter that we have bias, even in the smallest things, that is what's going to unlock us to get into the truth of the matter, that we have biases in larger things. And once we can get to the truth, then we can begin to unpack the fact that some of these biases we were allowing to stay unconscious. I say the word allowing because it is a conscious choice to begin to tell the truth to yourself. And it is also a conscious choice that now that you understand that these biases are there, to begin to move into active awareness so that you can either surround yourself with individuals who can help you to find your blind spots, reduce possible areas and/or situations where you feel as though you have not begin to understand how you could utilize this bias or perspective to be able to benefit the whole, and last but not least, it is beginning to truly dive in. I think that this is the most important part, which is the truth of what's going on and what's happening, not only in our world, but in the world at large.

Tina Dietz 

I would love for you, Bruce, for you to continue on with this particular conversation and add your thoughts on how we can raise this new generation of leaders without necessarily insisting that we're doing it our way.

Bruce Mayhew 

Yeah, absolutely. I love what's been said here so far, and I love the idea of curiosity as being a root component to moving forward, which is really difficult for people that have been in the workplace for a fair amount of time. So I think as we move forward as leaders, that curiosity component, for sure. And when I look at that curiosity component, I frequently reflect on what is preventing that curiosity. And often that prevention is fear, right? It's fear of my job, it's fear of my status, it's fear that I'm not going to be seen as a leader, which completely means that we need to transform the way that we're rewarding people, because a leader can no longer be the wealth of knowledge in an environment. We need to be able to count on each other in any situation to be able to put our collective best foot forward. If a leader is scared of their own curiosity and is being rewarded by keeping things as they have been in the past, then that is a problem for that individual, a problem for the team, and it's a problem for the company, right? So we have to recognize that a lot of what's holding us back is fear. And we have to redefine how we accept each other moving forward. But I also want to touch base on something that hasn't really been shared so far. I work with a lot of senior leaders. Frequently, when I ask them what they want from their new hires or the younger generation coming in, they want them, actually, to be self-sufficient. They want them to be able to not have to be told how to do everything. But to be fair to that younger person, or to any new person as part of a team, I think one of the challenges that leaders don't do in order to support their team in that environment is that that leader doesn't provide the foundation from which to work. So if I want somebody to be independent, I have to give them a foundation on which to be independent, which is the values of the organization, the goals of the project, how we collectively work with each other and treat each other. And when I give you that foundation of, “These are the values that we want to express together,” now I can actually depend on the decisions that you make moving forward within a project.

Tina Dietz

That's very true, Bruce. Yeah, an important point because as you've been in a company for a while, there's certain assumptions, there's certain things you just take for granted, and bringing somebody on board, no matter how competent they are, no matter how much self-initiative they have, they still need that lay of the land. And as a leader, I know for myself, sometimes I want that process to go much faster than it naturally does. But when we do take the time, and gird our egos and gird our loins in terms of bringing somebody along, it makes all the difference. I want to go back to something that you were pointing at, dealing with fear in the workplace because we do talk a lot about psychological safety and belonging on the show. And I just wanted to flip over to Dr. Valerie and Koy and Gabi, starting with you, Dr. Valerie, if you could tell us a tip or a technique or something that a leader could potentially start with to help to cultivate lessening fear and increasing that sense of curiosity being allowed to thrive and grow inside of a workplace.

Dr. Valerie Sheppard 

My expertise is in self-mastery. I define it as mastering yourself in your life so that you can exquisitely manage whatever your life brings your way. For every single solitary person on the planet, fear is always a part of the equation of whatever your life brings your way. And the question is not managing fear. The question is managing yourself and the experience of fear. Fear is just going to come up but it's coming from inside you, it's not the situation. So the dynamic pieces to know what your triggers are, and so Koy brought this up a little bit, I think Gabi talked about it a little bit, success in your life, which also means success in your work, your choice of career, success is dependent on you understanding how you bring yourself, how you express yourself in any given situation. So when fear grabs a hold, one of the number one things, the first thing I tell everybody is breathe. When you feel yourself start to notice your triggers, Bruce went through a number of them, and they were mine as well in the workplace. So as soon as I start hearing that, “Blah, blah, blah,” she's out to get you, she's asking that question because she wants to make you look bad,” I start to sit back, and, “Okay, that's not necessarily what's happening in this moment.” And the thing that allows me to get control is coming into my breath. So the breath work allows you to move your focus from outside, what are they doing? What are they thinking about me? To inside, what am I doing? Who am I being? So when I focus on the breath, it turns my focus inside, I settle down, I allow the fear to move, it's just a wave of energy. The idea is, can I be settled in myself enough to allow the wave to move, and then I can get back into conscious control of how I respond? If we don't take that time, what we do is react. So instead of just going, “Oh, that was just a question. She's not trying to make me look bad.” If I stay in that energy, I might bark out my answer to kick her away, like, “Back up!” Instead, I can soften and receive the question. “Oh, okay. So let me make sure I understand your question. What is it that you really want me to provide?” And so the techniques I'm talking about are, number one, know your triggers and what they're about, so that when they happen, you can take a moment, and number two, go into your breath, quiet the fear response, and give yourself a chance to respond in the present moment.

Tina Dietz

Thank you, Dr. Valerie. We're all applauding on camera here to Dr. Valerie's response. Those of you, of course, can’t see us doing that. But Koy, would you like to add on to that? Other tips, techniques for this realm of reducing fear?

Koy McDermott 

That is the only thing that I can do is to add on because Dr. Valerie crushed it. It has so much to do with us. Within my business Leaders Inspire Leaders, we focus on the “I” a lot. And it's not from the sense of being selfish, but more from the sense of understanding that everything that is going on and that is happening has to do with what someone created. If we can focus on the “I”, and understand that our one change, our one shift is so powerful, and that “I” brings us into inclusion, adding on to what Dr. Valerie was mentioning, before bringing yourself back to the breath, bringing yourself back to the “I,” back to the self. We can also speak about fear, in regard to it being the fear of the unknown. A lot of times, if not, in fact, all of the times, dare I say, it's that fear of, “Well, I don't know what's going to happen when I actually let go and I allow myself to just simply be free.” And ultimately, inclusivity is not something that just happens in the workplace. We've brought it to the workplace. But inclusivity is something that happens all day, every day. I love this theme of curiosity, being curious of other individuals and being more inclusive. If we can come to the table speaking about the things that we have in common, the things that are similar about us, whether it's the fact that we love traveling, whether it's the fact that we love tea, because I feel like Bruce might be drinking some tea as well, whether it's the fact that we love jazz and Mozart, if they're the things that we can come to the table with and bring that are the same, then we can begin to actually honor our differences. And that's where a lot of organizations are going wrong today. They want to come in, immediately talk about diversity, immediately talk about the things that make us different, immediately talk about the things that are divergent. And what that does is it puts everybody on guard, whether they are on guard because there is a level of, “Well, I don't have that.” There's that comparison that comes about, whether they're on guard because maybe there could be some envy there, whatever it is, let's slow down on the diversity piece until we can get the inclusive piece down. Let's focus on the “I”. And after we get the “I,” then we can begin to find everything else. My book of faith says, “Before you worry about the speck in your brother's eye or sister's eye, worry about the log in your own.” So focus on self, just as Dr. Valerie said, and remember that inclusivity is something that happens all day, everyday. How can you become curious not only about different things, but about different individuals, different religions, different languages, different foods, so that you can also create additional commonalities, so that inclusivity can become a whole lot easier?

Tina Dietz

We're just going to pause there to breathe that particular piece of wisdom in as well. Gabi, I want to go to you. And as the editor-in-chief of the nation's largest student run magazine, you manage a team, you manage a staff. So is there anything else that you'd like to add on, particularly since you are Gen Z working with Gen Z that you have found really works well in managing your team?

Gabriela Moreno

Well, I just want to bring up what Koy and Valerie said about the “I.” I think it's something that I started to learn with Rowdy. I think, as a leader, which I put air quotes on that because I think the term leader has been, sometimes, not defined properly. I think people think a leader is someone, yes, who leads, obviously, but I think they think that that one opinion and that one idea is what's right. And it's not, there's a difference between being assertive and bold and there's also a difference between you're asserting only one topic or one idea. And I think that's where bad leaders come, and their idea could be great, but it also doesn't make your team be themselves and you are leading people to kind of lose themselves and lose their “I.” And that's one thing that I have with a team of 90 people that I'm trying to do, because we're all using this publication, not only for creative outlet, but for discussion and an open discussion with our audience, who we care so much for. I think the best thing that we're doing is that I value that open discussion, and I don't want them thinking that I'm a leader, that only my ideas are the one that counts. I want to open a discussion where everyone's ideas count. So now it's like, I'm not a leader, I'm a friend. But I'm a leader when it comes to maybe making a decision on what the name of that article should be. But it's not about me demeaning your idea or me thinking like, “Oh, I don't think your choice is right on that.” I should value your choice. If I have some differences, we honor those differences. And I think that's really important because despite any generation, the one thing that we have in common is wanting to be heard. And I think if you take that voice away from someone, that just makes you a bad leader and it says something about you.

Tina Dietz

Yeah, 100%. 100%. We can put that on a billboard. Yeah, if you're taking somebody's voice away, you are not really a leader. Not in any sense of the word. Well, we have covered a tremendous amount of ground here. I'd love for, as we wrap up, each of you just to leave our listeners with a little bit of wisdom. If there's one thing that they could do in the next week to forward this conversation in their own workplace, either for themselves or for their team, what's something that they could take action on? Gabi, let's start with you.

Gabriela Moreno

I think my biggest piece of advice is, at the moment, we also have to remember that we are a community, and the importance of forgiving, letting go, but then also learning from everything that just went on and trying to make the change, trying to give 100%. Just don't let go and just forget about it, give 100% and actually put change into something. So I think being active, but also having that sense of forgiveness and being able to let go and not hold a grudge, I think is my biggest advice.

Bruce Mayhew

I certainly want to reflect on the stuff that Gabi has been talking about, just the whole concept of leadership has evolved from 50 or 60 years ago. Leader used to be the boss. And we're still hung on that boss definition. We have to let that go. If somebody was going to start next week in changing the environment that they're in, I think they need to accept that we need to start training everybody to be a leader, regardless of what their position is within the organization. They have to understand what leadership is. And leadership means that I might be in charge this minute, and Gabi will be the next minute, and Val will be the minute after that. So it might be a trade off within the project that might last a minute or a day or a week but we trade leadership back and forth.

Tina Dietz 

Koy, let's go to you.

Koy McDermott

We've seen the stories of lottery winners who are now homeless. Nothing truly changes, you’re unable to sustain those things until you change. Focusing in on that mental well-being is something that we all have control over, we all have the power to do, we all have an opportunity to truly focus on self because burnout, not only is it real, it doesn't just happen from work. It can happen from anything and everything that we do. So when you're focusing on that mental well-being, begin to, as Dr. Valerie was saying, understand your triggers, and also understand what recharges you. What brings you rest, what brings you peace? How do I tap back into my joy? How do I refill my cup? Because a lot of us are giving from our cup instead of our overflow. And that is also beginning to cause resentment and shame and guilt and fear and all of these other emotions that come with it. It's not about being selfish, it is about focusing on self so that you can truly give what you have.

Tina Dietz

And Dr. Valerie, let's complete that line of thinking with you.

Dr. Valerie Sheppard

Thank you. Wow. You said at the beginning, this was a powerhouse panel, and the nuggets are just coming from everyone. It's so beautiful. I'm so grateful to be a part of this. Thank you so much. My last tip: learn to dance. And what I mean by that is to dance with the dynamics that are coming up within you. That's where it all starts. Learn to be forgiving and loving and nurturing and caring of you as the catalyst, the epicenter of what you create in the world. Learn to dance with the dynamics in the outside world where there are people who aren't going to see things the way you see them. Don't come from a perspective that maybe you even can understand, but nonetheless, are bringing their own brilliance and magnificence into the equation. Koy talked about inclusivity happens all the time, and we've gotten a very fractured world. There are some aspects of what you're bringing to this dynamic that I would love to spend some more time on and to kind of pick apart and play with and see if we can take from my point of view and your point of view and others points of view and create magic. There's something that we do in acting, it's called suspend your disbelief. Suspend the disbelief that I don't know how to dance. Maybe you just need to start. Suspend the disbelief that that person because they're older, they're going to tell me everything. Maybe not. Maybe they just want to be heard, just like you want to be heard. Suspend the disbelief that people are out to get you. Maybe they're not, maybe they just want to help you succeed, but they don't know how to do it in a way that is nurturing and caring to you. And so doing this dance of the dynamics, can I play with it? No matter where they come from, can I come from a place of, “We are going to create this together, and I am going to bring the best of me to dance and play with the best of you. And let's get on with it.”

Tina Dietz

There's been so much humanity present here today in the conversation about a post-generational workforce and moving beyond the dates we were born and into who we are truly as individual human beings, collectively, culturally, and all of the dances that we dance in the different communities that we belong to. Now is the time to maybe even listen back to this episode again or go back to the episode on psychological safety where we talk about getting out of midbrain dominance so that you can be a more high-functioning leader and be able to examine your own bias without fear and allow that to come out into your team so they, too, can reduce the amount of fear and increase the amount of curiosity that they are feeling. I hope today that you have felt more opening and more freedom to reach out to the other people in your community, in your workplace, in your family, on your team, and start having some of the challenging conversations with compassion and curiosity so that we all can have an overflowing cup from which to give. And in that case, I wish you all well. I look forward to being with you next time as we journey together and as we offer you a Drink From The Well.

Please share this episode with another leader and follow us on your favorite podcast app. Then journey over to DrinkFromTheWellPodcast.com for transcripts, show notes, and all the wisdom in today’s episode. We’re always here to refresh, inspire, and entertain you anytime you need a Drink From The Well. Drink From The Well is an original production of Twin Flames Studios and our magical team, including Alayna Carley, Darek Blackburn, Nadia Cox, Stephen George, and me, Tina Dietz.

About our Guest Experts – Cultivating Intergenerational Communication at Work

Gabriela Moreno is a Political Science major with a Mass Communications and History minor at the University of Florida. She was born and raised in Miami, Florida and comes from Brazilian as well as Cuban descent. She is the former Editor-In-Chief of Rowdy Magazine, which speaks about politics, fashion, and culture, participates in different media positions in Student Government and is the Assistant Director of her pre-law fraternity. Outside of school, she has been a part of political campaigns and is now preparing to intern at a Media Law Firm based in Miami.

Isokoy (Koy) McDermott is a tech sales manager at a leading cloud search company. Isokoy began his stellar career in tech a decade ago and today is an award-winning executive, speaker, and entrepreneur. As part of his commitment to strengthening diversity and inclusion, Isokoy founded Leaders Inspire Leaders, an employee retention company focused on cross-generational communication and coaching Millennial Managers on their purpose and passion to unleash their full potential.

Dr. Valerie Sheppard is a self-mastery expert and the CEO of the Heartly Center for Mindfulness and Self-Mastery. She has written an international best-selling book, Living Happy to Be Me and a self-mastery curriculum that was the subject of her 2021 doctoral dissertation. She received her PhD in consciousness and human potential from Gateway University.

Bruce Mayhew is an inspiring Corporate Trainer, Conference Speaker, and Executive Coach. Whether coaching an individual or speaking to a room of a thousand delegates, Bruce has a passion for helping his clients to achieve their professional development and leadership goals. As a Corporate Trainer, Bruce delivers customized and interactive corporate training solutions that help employees be more successful and productive while improving employee satisfaction, employee loyalty and employee engagement. As an Executive Coach, Bruce empowers his clients to recognize their leadership skills and build on their natural strengths.

Episode Featured Resources

Leaders’ Discussion Guide – Cultivating Intergenerational Communication at Work:

How to prepare to lead this discussion session with your team:
  1. What’s your favorite mug? Consider where your generation has given you some biases, whatever those may be, to ensure an open, honest, and welcoming conversation with your team. You don’t need to fix yourself, just be open and honest with yourself.
Questions to discuss WITH your team about Cultivating Intergenerational Communication at Work:
  1. Have them listen to the episode first to create common ground and context for the conversation.
  2. Have your team voice what intergenerational communication issues they think exist in the workplace. Allow them to speak from their own experiences as Baby Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z. Remember to keep it respectful.
  3. Review the techniques (24:00) about minimizing bias from the episode. Identify which techniques would work best for your team. Can you think of any others?
  4. ADVANCED: Identify your bias(es) against those older and younger than you. What steps do you need to take to overcome those biases?

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The Four Critical Levels of Being a Great Communicator & Why They Matter

By Jess Todtfeld, President of Success In Media, Inc.

As we navigate the ever-evolving digital landscape, it's crucial to remember the significance of personal connection, especially in leadership roles.

After dedicating the past 18 years to teaching media training skills and presentation skills, I've come to realize that the essence of leadership is found in speaking – in connecting with people face-to-face, or in today's climate, virtually. Yes, we've adapted, we've embraced technology, but as leaders, we must not forget that at the heart of every interaction, there's a human need to connect.

woman speaking in front of crowd with a microphone

The modern world presents a unique challenge: How do we maintain this essential human connection amidst the screens and devices that dominate our lives? The answer lies in understanding the power of speech in leadership and harnessing it effectively.

Speaking as a leader isn’t just about giving orders or delegating tasks. It’s about engaging people, sharing visions, inspiring actions, and fostering a spirit of teamwork. And achieving these goals requires mastering The Four Critical Levels of Being a Great Communicator: Understanding, Remembering, Action, and Passing on to Others. These stages serve as the foundation of impactful leadership speaking.

  1. Understanding: The first step to effective communication is making sure your message is understood. This requires clear, concise language free from jargon or complicated concepts. As a leader, you need to deliver your message in a way that your team, clients, or audience can easily grasp. The clearer your message, the better the understanding, and the stronger the connection you can establish.
  2. Remembering: A message that's understood but quickly forgotten will achieve little. To make your message stick, stories are invaluable. They weave a narrative around your message, turning it from mere information into a memorable journey. Remember, people may forget statistics or figures, but they rarely forget a compelling story.
  3. Action: Great communication isn’t passive; it drives action. Once people understand and remember your message, they should feel motivated to act upon it. As a leader, your words should empower others, giving them the tools or knowledge they need to improve their lives or make a difference.
  4. Passing on to Others: The ultimate level of communication is when your message is shared by those who heard it. Word of mouth is one of the most powerful forms of communication. When someone shares your message, it signifies a deep connection – they found your words impactful enough to pass on to others.

In a world where face-to-face interactions are increasingly being replaced by face-to-screen encounters, the need for leaders to effectively communicate and connect with others has never been more paramount. True leaders don’t just speak – they connect, inspire, and motivate. They use their words to create shared understanding, memorable narratives, actionable insights, and messages that resonate deeply enough to be passed on.

Here’s some good news…

Pie Chart in newspaper with people looking from all around to see it

We have more opportunities than ever to speak and connect. These include:

Podcasts: In an era where multimedia content is increasingly popular, starting your own podcast can be a great way to share your insights, experiences, and messages. Podcasts create a personal, intimate setting, allowing for more in-depth discussions and providing an opportunity to connect with your audience on a deeper level. They offer a unique space where you can share your stories, inspire action, and get your messages passed on.

Social Media Videos: Platforms such as Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, LinkedIn, and TikTok have become vital tools for modern leaders. Social media videos allow for dynamic, engaging communication. You can share short motivational messages, elaborate on complex ideas, or give behind-the-scenes glimpses into your leadership journey. These videos are easy to share, increasing the chances of your message being passed on and reaching a wider audience.

Webinars and Virtual Events: As we adapt to a more remote way of working, webinars and virtual events have become commonplace. These platforms offer an opportunity to reach larger, global audiences. They also allow for real-time interaction, Q&As, and instant feedback, helping you gauge understanding and tweak your communication strategies accordingly.

Communication Apps: Apps such as Slack, Microsoft Teams, or Zoom have revolutionized the way we connect with our teams and peers. These apps provide a space for both formal and informal communication, promoting transparency and fostering a sense of community.

Blogs and Articles: Writing blogs and articles for your own website or guest posting on other platforms is another way to connect. You can delve into subjects in more detail and leave a permanent resource for others to refer back to.

Online Courses and E-Learning Platforms: Sharing your expertise through online courses or e-learning platforms can help inspire action. You can educate your audience on a particular subject, provide them with the tools to make positive changes, and continue to foster their growth long after they've finished your course.

LinkedIn Live and Clubhouse: Platforms like LinkedIn Live and Clubhouse offer live audio and video broadcasting opportunities. They allow real-time conversations with audiences, which can lead to lively discussions, idea exchanges, and networking opportunities.

As leaders, it's our responsibility to bridge the digital divide and maintain the human connection that's so vital in our world today. By mastering these four levels of communication, we can transcend the boundaries of the screen and connect with people in meaningful, impactful ways. And in the process, we can redefine what it means to be a leader in the digital age.

What most surprised you, or what do you still want to know? Let us know your thoughts below!

More About Jess Todtfeld

Jess Todtfeld is the President of Success in Media, one of the leading communication and media training authorities in the U.S. With more than 15 years as a media trainer and consultant, Todtfeld helps CEOs, business executives, spokespersons, public relations representatives, experts, and authors to become more confident, more in control, and to create more results from their speaking engagements and media appearances.

If you want to learn more about Jess Todtfeld, you can visit his training site or his Guaranteed Publicity agency, Media Ambassadors.

Headshot of Jess Todtfeld smiling

Live, Laugh, Lead – Comedic Arts at Work

What can leaders learn from comedians, or is humor in the workplace just too risky in a time of cancel culture? Tina Dietz explores how comedy can connect people, create belonging, deepen authenticity, and even change the way we teach, train, and lead our teams as she talks with comedians Alicia Dattner and Jeff Civillico, and founder of The Dames, Meghann Conter.

Don't miss our Leaders' Discussion Guide for this episode below – perfect for your next team Lunch & Learn!

Comedic Arts at Work – Episode Highlights

  • Learn how to create more belonging among your team as a leader (4:09)
  • Discover the connection between belonging and vulnerability and how it applies to leaders (9:22)
  • Find recommendations for leaders who are cultivating/iterating their own voice and thought leadership (14:26)
  • Uncover tips about developing authenticity and trust in relationships as a leader (18:19)
  • Find the transformative power of humor in engaging audiences, sparking creativity, and fostering authentic connections (26:41)
  • Find an example of the positive impact of incorporating humor in business, leading to increased profit, revenue, and team performance. (33:26)

Full Transcript

Tina Dietz

Welcome to Drink From the Well. I'm Tina Dietz, and today, I'm your high priestess of humor. Humor in the workplace carries a stigma. People don't want to crack jokes at work for fear of not being taken seriously, being criticized, or being embarrassed, or even worse: being canceled. But what if I told you humor will actually help you climb farther up the ladder than you may think? A study by Jennifer Aaker, a professor at Stanford, showed that workplace humor has a positive effect on employees. Humor, in fact, fosters psychological safety, which we talked about in our earlier episode, as well as creativity, productivity, trust, and authenticity. And yet, a different Stanford study reports that adults over the age of 23 start laughing considerably less. Adults over 35 only laugh 15 times a day. Compare this to babies who laugh, on average, 400 times a day. According to a Gallup study, people tend to laugh significantly less on weekdays than on weekends, indicating workplace humor is seriously lacking in the regular five day work week. Today is an exploration of what we, as leaders, can learn from comedy to connect people, create belonging, deepen authenticity, and even change the way we teach, train, and lead our teams and create engagement. To help us along in this episode, we're using the rule of three, which is often used in comedy writing. The rule of three principles suggests that a trio of events or characters is more memorable and, well, funnier.

Clip of Alicia Dattner

So, yeah, I'm the oldest of three kids. There's me, and then mom and dad. Did you read we're basically going to run out of fish by 2050? What if I have a child one day, and they get dumped, and all I can say is, “Oh Honey, don't worry. There are plenty of… plastic bags in the sea?”

Tina Dietz 

That's Alicia Dattner. Alicia is an award-winning stand-up comedian, award-winning film producer, a bestselling author, and has even led a circus on a cross country tour. In fact, Alicia has won so many comedy awards, I don't even have time to list them all here. Alicia Dattner, how you doing?

Alicia Dattner

I'm pretty good. How you doin?

Tina Dietz

I'm doing well. I'm doing well. It's good to see you.

Alicia Dattner

Hey, it's good to be seen.

Tina Dietz

How did you know becoming a comedian was the right path for you?

Alicia Dattner

I just had this fascination. I could feel this burning fire in my body, my little tiny kid body that said, “Do that. You gotta do that.” A big piece of what I do on stage is confessional. I like to name things that people are not likely to name. I want to say the thing that you feel that you don't want to say. And sometimes, I'll even say it for you, even though I don't feel it as much, but I know you need someone else to be experiencing it. And there is a way where I want to create belonging, I want you to feel connected. I want you to feel as if you're not the only one who thinks and feels something. It is beautiful when people laugh at my jokes. I feel like I belong. I feel like, not only do I belong, but I'm also a leader of belonging.

Tina Dietz

What do you think that leaders can learn about creating more belonging? What do you have to do as an example, as a comedian to create that belonging in a room?

Alicia Dattner 

I have to be vulnerable. I have to share what's uncomfortable, and what's dark and difficult, and take a risk, and I have to let what's on the inside out. And it doesn't always have to be the deepest, darkest secret. It could just be something I feel a little uncomfortable with. And when I go first, then other people feel the safety. The courage of vulnerability allows everybody to be vulnerable, especially if I'm the leader. It's a different thing if I'm an employee or I'm a young person. It's like, when the person with the most status goes first and shares vulnerably, that's when everything opens up.

Tina Dietz

Oh, yeah, that's very, very true. It creates that permission, you mentioned psychological safety, which we talk a lot about here on the show. So, then it doesn't always go well when you get vulnerable, though, or when you get up and perform. What happens when you bomb, none of your jokes land? Every comedian has these kinds of situations. Tell us a story about what's happened to you, and how you handled that.

Alicia Dattner

I've bombed a lot of times. Sometimes I did okay, sometimes I killed. And I'm thinking of a time when I bombed. I went to a black club. I had gotten asked to do a set, and it was a club that not only had a stage in front, but it was a club in the round. So, you're surrounded. You're surrounded, in a way, like you're doing Shakespeare, like, “Hello, hello.” And so, I come and I do my normal set. And it is absolute crickets, like total silence, it's three, four minutes in. Nobody likes me. They start literally yelling, “You suck. Get off the stage.” They hated me.

Tina Dietz

Ow. Ow.

Alicia Dattner 

And it was so painful, like, what do you do? What do you do? And I had been in acting class working on a bit where I talk from my belly. I pull up my top, and I make my belly button talk. And I was working on this bit in class, and it was very interactive, and I literally just was like, okay, pulling out the belly. And I walk out into the audience, and my belly says the things that I don't want to say. It's like the id. It's like what I want to eat, what I want to do, how I feel, and so, I start talking to people with my belly and they start totally getting into it, and we have a fantastic time. They're laughing, they're clapping. It worked. I transformed that experience. I thought, okay, I've got them. I went back on stage to try to finish my set. They were not happy again. They were like, “What? You're doing your bits now?” So, I learned. 

Tina Dietz

When you find something that works, stick with it. Don't go back.

Alicia Dattner

Don't be like, “Alright, now I've got you. Let me take you where I wanted to originally.” Because I was still craving that safety of knowing what to do. But, when I stepped out into the unknown, when I met the moment, when I actually spoke to the people who were there, rather than having my list of bits that I wanted to do because they felt safe, that was what transformed. And the willingness, the courage to be vulnerable, to say what was deeper in my experience to the vulnerability of being an unknown.

Tina Dietz

And that's so interesting, because many times we step into workplace situations where we are out of our regular element like a workshop. Maybe we're doing an improv workshop, or maybe it's on some sort of assessment tool or leadership development of some kind, and people open up and there's this vulnerability, kind of like you with the belly. And there's the sense of togetherness, but then we go back to the regular workplace, and all of that goes away again. And it's business as usual, like you trying to go into your regular bits and you lose them. I think that analogy really holds true. Once you find something in this place that is vulnerable, we have to continue on in that thread and not go back to business as usual and doing it that way. That also leads me to this idea that comedy, like anything worth doing well, takes a lot of practice. And we all have off days, we all have days where we bomb — might not be on the stage — on some days, I bomb in front of my kids, sometimes I bomb in front of my team, sometimes I bomb in front of the microphone. But how do you get up and continue to perform well, even when you are on those off days?

Alicia Dattner 

A lot of my work in being willing to keep practicing, to keep getting up again and again, to keep being willing to put myself in the line of fire is the acceptance of all of the different parts of me. And that includes all of the different ways that I feel each day, each week. And so, for me, it's about welcoming exactly how I feel. When I'm doing a run of a show, and I'm doing the same show night after night, after night, I feel a different way each night, and I love it, because it's always a challenge to meet how I'm feeling and how the audience is showing up. And that willingness to keep bringing and accepting everything is what allows the audience — I can come out and be in the best mood and have the best show, and in a way, I don't learn as much when the audience is just totally on. But if I come out, and I'm feeling tired, and I'm not feeling so hot, and I, instead of trying to push through it and pretend and invent the persona of Alicia that is doing so wonderfully, they're going to feel that, they're going to feel that pushing. Audiences are very perceptive. They're going to feel that I'm trying to, that in some way, I'm not telling the truth. And if I can say the same words, but instead relax into what is really here for me and allow myself to be seen, the audience is going to feel relieved, they're going to feel safe, they're going to trust me, they're going to feel less alone, because they're not always having a good day. And from that place, we start there, usually, the show gets better and better, and I feel better and better. 

Tina Dietz

That's brilliant. Thank you, Alicia. This has been really, really helpful. And I love seeing the connection between belonging and vulnerability and leading from the front of the room with your whole heart and acceptance in the moment. And that does take practice, and it's not always going to go well, but you always come back. 

Now, we've talked about the significance of belonging and connectedness. But how can you belong somewhere or anywhere if you don't stay true to who you are? Listen to Jeff Civillico's stance on the importance of authenticity in the workplace. Jeff spent 10 years headlining on the Las Vegas Strip, and now he performs at conferences around the world.

Clip of Jeff Civillico

You guys want to see me balance this on my chin, don't you? Yeah, I do, too. It's not gonna happen. That'd be awesome. No, you know what? This is Ace After Hours, we got to give you something to cheer for. What could possibly go wrong? And we're gonna light it on fire. Beavis over here is like, “Fire! Gah!” Okay, I think that violates the convention center safety code. But, we'll try this. Why not?

Tina Dietz

Well, just to kick it off, why don't you specifically give us the roots that you had in developing your signature style of performance? Did it start in college, did it start before?

Jeff Civillico

I was allowed to stink for years and years, and that was great. That was the best way for me to get confidence and develop my own voice and my own brand. So I could stink in the kitchen, I could stink at theme parks, I could stink doing street shows, and it wasn't like captured for all eternity and part of my digital footprint when you Google me, right?

But, yeah, it's funny, I do a lot with arts education and youth in the arts in Vegas, and I love talking to them because I don't envy them, to be honest, because they are growing up with the internet, social media, America's Got Talent, all these competition shows and all that. And I think that's a real potential problem for creative development. I think you need to stink for a while and not stink publicly, right? Like not stink on YouTube with trolls and random people commenting. 

Tina Dietz 

And I think what you're saying here is so important. One of my mentors said, “Sometimes you just have to suck until you suck less.” And we have to iterate. How long do you think you need to cultivate something creatively before you bring it out into the light? Do you have recommendations for leaders who are cultivating their own voice or cultivating, say, their thought leadership? It might not be comedy, but there's still that cultivation and iteration and the creative process.

Jeff Civillico

Yeah, I mean, I don't think there's any magic threshold, right? I mean, you could reference like 10,000 hours or any of the past things, “I have to do X amount of shows or have X amount of stage time.”  It’s just like learning something new. You have to be good enough and established enough to feel that there's something there. I mean, it's not going to do anybody any service if you say, “I'm an amazing singer,” and you can't carry a tune at all, right? But, if you have a little bit of innate talent and an innate desire to do it and there's a seed there, then you can water it. And it is pretty grey because you're right, you do need creative feedback, you do need direction, but you need it from supportive people, family, friends who want the best for you. They're not going to sugarcoat and just lie to you, that's not going to help you either. In the singing example, say, “Oh, my gosh, you're amazing. Like, you're a natural star.” You're doing a disservice to that person. But I really do think there's a sweet spot of supporting. I think my parents did it really well, to be honest. My brothers are doctors. So, it's like I'm juggling, I'm doing magic shows, it's like, this is weird and different. But they didn't squash it at all. They did the opposite. We went to juggling conventions. We went to the Philadelphia juggling club meetings on Mondays, they bought me, for every birthday and Christmas, since I was seven to whatever, 35, I was getting —

Tina Dietz

Still giving you juggling tools.

Jeff Civillico 

I was getting juggling books or magic VHS tapes. And so, they were showing that they were supportive, but they were also involved.

Tina Dietz

What do you rely on inside of yourself? 

Jeff Civillico

One day you could be making nothing, and the next, you're making $15,000 a show, for example, right? It's up and down, it's not this linear, successful path. So, I think that's important for me to keep in mind. I try to work like hell, and then to hell with it. That's kind of a phrase that I often ascribed to. That was a quote that was taped up on my college dorm from my best friend and college roommate. And I think that's important. It's important because when you do a show, you got to do the best you can, and then let it go. Sometimes, it's not your fault. Sometimes, the layout of the room was stacked up against you. Sometimes, the CEO just announced that they were going to be cutting everyone's raises and firing this department right before you go on. I mean, there's a million things that are out of your control. I just did a show with the Excalibur and the NFL draft is in town, like, nobody's coming to my show. The NFL draft is in town, everyone is there for the draft, right? But the show has to go on. So, you make the most of the show you can with the 40 people who are in the 500 seat showroom and you have a good time. You can't let that reflect, that's not a reflection on me, all those things. So, I think you have to have a healthy confidence to know that you're good at what you do, that you are not the product, you are not the show. There's a separation there. It's very easy to think, “Oh, they didn't like me,” right? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't immune to that, right? It always feels better, you always feel better when you have a great show. And a lot of that is because it's like self-validation. It's like, “Oh, they liked me, they thought I was funny. I moved them. They enjoyed, they thought I had value.” But it's really tricky. Over the years, you do enough shows, you do enough events, speeches, whatever, you're going to have ones that are better, and you're gonna have ones that are, that go worse.

Tina Dietz 

You're so right about the identity piece. When we over identify with any kind of work or any type of results, then we end up in that trap of thinking that who we are and what we produce are the same thing. So, that is such an important point. Any kind of last piece of advice that you would offer leaders as they're developing their authenticity and their relationships as they go from all the relationships that you've had to develop over the years about, what does it take to really be who you are with other people?

Jeff Civillico

I think humor is disarming. It's very disarming in a good way. And so, I would encourage any leader to integrate a little humor, a little self-deprecation, it's perspective shift, right? If you can look at something, like in comedy, it's called a mix — take two seemingly different things, put them together, a lot of times something funny comes out of that, right? — and that's a muscle that you can build to think of seemingly incongruous or different things and put them together. And that can be applied to the business world as well. So, I think humor offers all sorts of really great advantages. It makes you more likable. It makes you able to connect and show, pull the curtain back, so we can see the person, and you'll go through the fire for somebody that you like. That's going to foster a deeper connection with your employees, and they're going to want to do anything for you, put in those extra hours or figure out a creative way to solve a problem. They feel like they really know who you are underneath the veneer of the title, whatever that is.

Tina Dietz 

But then, I've seen in some of your performances that you get people to do things on the stage in groups or alone. That takes a lot for people to want to get up on the stage and then kind of put themselves at your mercy. How do you create that kind of trust in a room so quickly?

Jeff Civillico

So, I think, again, I think trust is created by authenticity. So, I think the more real you can become and be in the moment, the more present you can be in the moment, so that even if you do have some patter, that it doesn't feel like patter, that it's coming out for the first time. And even if it is a little raw, I think that's better than being too polished as an entertainer who's bringing people up on stage and doing a lot of improv because you want them to feel like they can make mistakes and mess up and things like that. So, yeah, I think just calling it like it is, not using the big stage voice, talking directly to the audience members, looking at them individually, making eye contact, telling stories. Stories are really powerful, for sure, so, I tell stories about growing up doing what I do and poke fun a little bit at some of these situations I'm in where I'm like standing backstage holding a six foot tall giraffe unicycle talking to the CEO of AT&T business and that's kind of naturally hilarious.

Tina Dietz

That's a beautiful mental image.

Jeff Civillico

Yeah, because we've all been there, not obviously in that specific moment, but where you kind of feel ridiculous or feel like, “What the heck am I doing here?” at that moment. So, bringing those moments to light and acknowledging them, I feel like, gives permission for other audience members to let themselves go and not take themselves so seriously, and just try to relax and have some fun in the moment.

Tina Dietz 

All right, thanks, Jeff, for all of your insights, and for this particularly deep dive around authenticity and the willingness to do what it takes to create a name for yourself, to create your leadership, and to persevere in the face of 18,000 different things potentially being against you. It's a really inspiring story, and I just want to remind all of our listeners that you can find clips of the work of all of our guests here today in the show notes at DrinkFromTheWellPodcast.com. Jeff, thank you again.

Jeff Civillico

Absolutely. Thanks for having me, Tina.

Tina Dietz

In part three, we have what's called in comedy, the turn. The turn is that third thing in the rule of threes that is the unexpected. Meghann Conter is the founder of The Dames, an international organization of six and seven figure women business owners and executives, who is known for bringing the principles of humor, comedy and improv to every aspect of running her company. Quite honestly, it's one of the big reasons I became a member. Meghann, I'm happy to have you here.

Meghann Conter

I'm so happy to be here with you, Tina Dietz. This is going to be so much fun.

Tina Dietz

It's so much fun. We can have coffee, we could talk. It's beautiful. How, how my darling, did you originally become interested in comedy?

Meghann Conter

I think that I have always been a performer since I was a wee one. I was the kid who would always organize all the other kids in the neighborhood to come together and make a performance for all the poor parents who had to watch all of us, and then create different improv skits and things. That's what I always did. But it wasn't really until 2018 that I got super serious about it, which I didn't get serious about it. I got unserious about it. I started taking improv classes in 2018 at a local improv school here in Denver and did the whole year in 2018 and graduated with my improvisation certification. It's a very prestigious thing that we have.

Tina Dietz

Extremely prestigious.

Meghann Conter

Extremely prestigious. But, man, did I have a blast learning how to get out of my head and into the present moment, and to just use your innovation, which a lot of times when you just let fly out of your mouth whatever is going to come, that's when all the funny stuff happens, at least for me. I'm not a stand-up comedy writer. I don't write jokes, I write skits, and I can perform those. But, it's oftentimes the improvised parts of it that come out that are the best for me.

Tina Dietz  

And trusting that instinct is something that I think takes a lot of growth for leaders. So, did you always bring comedy into your business and improv?

Meghann Conter 

Definitely not. In my marketing business, which I ran for the first 10 years of being in business, I always thought that business was business and comedy and play were a part of what you did on the weekend. And it wasn't part of what I did at all because I would get up and I would give presentations or I'd be hired to do a presentation somewhere, and I would give them the old drink from the fire hose. Here's all the information that you're going to need in order know what exactly you need to know about marketing, and I would read them the rights of every single thing that they would need to know and, usually, a lot of times, myself, feel really exhausted by the end because I just performed and given my all but none of it felt like it was really me.

Tina Dietz 

Seven point plans and all of those things like your marketing strategy and all that good stuff. Yeah, yeah.

Meghann Conter

I thought I had to do it that way, because otherwise, how would they take me seriously as a real marketing expert if I didn't sound like an expert, which, in my head, for some reason sounded like someone who, yes, had an enthusiastic voice and kept people people entertained in that regard, not talking like Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but still, you had to present a certain air of seriousness in everything. And it almost was reactive on my part. I would react in that way of responding to anything in a very serious manner, because, yeah, what I was talking about, marketing and business, was serious stuff, Tina. It was serious. Not really.

Tina Dietz 

It's the lifeblood of your business. Right?

Meghann Conter

Exactly.

Tina Dietz 

Well, then what changed? What was the turn for you?

Meghann Conter

Yeah, so, taking improv was what turned for me. That was the big thing that gave me the courage to really play and see that I was capable of it, see that I was capable of having these different accents and using all these different personalities that would pop out of me and making people laugh on stage. And then, I met an amazing coach here in Denver who is a humor speaking coach and started working with him. And it took me a while to even build up my confidence to take what I was learning and put it into play on stage. We've been doing Denver Dames events here since 2015, and I always have done an education piece, which I transformed into edutainment at a certain point in about 2018 to 19, where instead of just getting up and lecturing on something related to your business, our chapter presidents are encouraged to get up and have fun with it and do a skit or insert some humor into whatever it is that they're presenting. Because what we found, and what we find, is that comedy creates intrigue, comedy has people paying attention, comedy is what people are not expecting in business. And so when they're not expecting it, they listen more, they pay attention more. And then they find that, holy cow, the principles or the concepts that are being taught through humor are actually the nuggets that you remember afterwards, as opposed to just presenting a series of facts. A lot of the time, our brain doesn't retain that information. But when you put it in an accent — I love even just delivering something simple in an accent because as soon as I do that, your brain starts to pay attention to what it is that I'm saying. And you say, “Holy cow, she just changed her accent. And now I'm hearing the words that she's saying more than when I just speak in my normal voice.” So, it was that work.

Tina Dietz

Yeah, I’m dying to know more about this. I've seen you perform, and I've seen you teach in character, which is lovely. So, what are some of the characters that you use that have gone over well?

Meghann Conter

Yeah, definitely. So, the characters that I've used are Silvia Maldonado. She is my New Jersey, Italian woman, and she is the one who can come in and really speak it like it is. She can just, “Ladies, this is how we need to do things. And there's just no questioning it, this is just how it has to be done.” And she's a very opinionated woman. She's very smart. She's very savvy. She's built a successful business on her own, and she's done it on her own terms. And then I had good old Margie. Margie is going to make her debut appearance off of the camera and in person at our upcoming seven year anniversary at The Dames.

Tina Dietz

Oh, I can't wait.

Meghann Conter

Yeah, she's closed all of her 47 multilevel marketing companies, and she's started and built a really successful six figure business as a Profit First consultant. So, she is very excited to now be an official member of the Dames and to come out and share her hot dish recipes, as well as her secrets to growing a profitable business with everyone. So, that's exciting.

Tina Dietz

We're gonna put a clip of that in here right now for everyone to hear. Give a listen.

Clip of Meghann Conter

At the bottom of the profit and loss, there's a number that's your profit, right? What's out of there comes all your payments. You gotta pay your car payment, your caddy payment, maybe the Louis Vuitton desk that you bought, whatever it is, you're gonna have payments and it comes out of there. And then you're not gonna have any money at the end. You're gonna worry about cash flow. And here's the thing: You want to sell your business? You can't sell it if you don't got profit.

Damn straight, you can't. Hell, no. They're going to turn you around and say, “Go fix your shit.”  

Exactly what's going to happen. 

I need to know. I need to know. What is your famous line from your TikTok video about revenue?

Here it is: Revenue is ego, profit is theory, and cash is king.

Tina Dietz 

Fantastic. And if you want to see the video of that particular sketch, make sure you go to DrinkFromTheWellPodcast.com, and check out the show notes as we put in the YouTube clip of that entire sketch for you to see Meghann performing with the Dames. So, I'd love to hear some more about what other areas of your business you've brought comedy to. So, certainly in the teaching, certainly in engaging people in some of the local events. Are there other things that you always do at either events or inside of the membership with comedy?

Meghann Conter 

Yes, so at all of our events, we really encourage our chapter presidents to bring comedians forth. It is the thing that we start with. We call our events the reverse mullet approach. So, it brings people in, it allows them to break down their defenses and break open their shields that they often come in with, disarms people, and it helps them really crack open to be able to then connect more authentically and be inspired by the rest of the event that we curate. I use comedy and humor in my team calls all the time. So, with our team, we always start out with a positive or a humorous focus so that we can really, even if we've had a really bad day, shift that energy right away, and get ourselves into that creative brain space. I love doing this at our team meetings that we do quarterly in person where we begin our meetings with different improv warm up exercises that I plan in advance, and we just get those going so that the creative juices flow, and we don't stop the generative, amazing ideas that are coming through. And, in fact, they come through more expansively and more flowing, and we're able to get farther as a team. So, that has really improved our team's performance at our various quarterly meetings. And then, even our weekly meetings have just gotten so much better because our focus is positive and it's creative. And that's what we find at The Dames events, that's what we find in the membership, is that when we can really truly, not only be vulnerable, because that's equally as important, but when we can insert humor and have humor when it's possible, when it's possible for us to access that, it transforms the whole energy of the event, of the entire community. It helps us show up more as ourselves.

Tina Dietz

Well, darling, let's talk turkey as the bottom line, alright? So, you've talked about changing the energy, changing the quality of ideas and team meetings, getting people more disarmed and all that. How has that actually moved the needle in how you've developed your business? Kind of a before and after, when you were more serious versus now with bringing the comedy in and humor.

Meghann Conter

Yeah, well, so when I was in my marketing business, it was an over six figures business that I operated very seriously. And I worked my butt off. I worked long hours. And as soon as I made the shift over to The Dames, was pretty much the same exact time when I started embracing humor in everything and bringing these skits to the forefront, bringing comedy. Comedy has always been part of The Dames, but bringing it very much into the paramount, like these are the columns of what The Dames is, and putting that at the forefront, our business has exploded. Now, humor is not the only reason. I am the CEO, I am a visionary, and I am so much more productive, I am so much better of a leader when I am in a good place. And what gets me in a good place is being able to get into character. We didn't talk about networking Nellie, but she has a lot of wisdom that she loves to share. And one of those things is if the CEO is not in and doing the things that really lights her up and him up the most, then the whole rest of the team and the whole rest of the company is going to fail because of that. It's not going to be nearly as fun either. So, it's really important for me to be able to be put in that space of being able to do the videos that I love to do to market the business, which attracts such amazing people. It's being able to plan the skits and practice the skits and write the skits for our in person events. It's all of that that really has helped our profit increase, helped our revenue increase and has made me a better leader because I show up in the fullness of myself. And then, it gives permission to all the others to do the same.

Tina Dietz 

I thank you so much for being the leader that you are. I am not much of a joiner to anything, but when you and I met, and I saw what you were doing with The Dames, it was an absolute no brainer for me. And I have to say, as a member myself, it is a joy to participate in an environment where this lightness shines through everywhere instead of the density that can really come along with business. So, I just want to let you know how much I appreciate it on a personal level, as well as you sharing your wisdom in this episode today.

Meghann Conter

Thank you. Thank you, Tina.

Tina Dietz 

Today we've explored belonging, resilience, and authenticity through humor. But remember, this is only brushing the surface of humor's effect on leadership. Let's change those statistics about adults laughing less, especially during the workweek. If you've got ideas about bringing more humor into your working world, or you're already doing this successfully, come share your stories with us at DrinkFromTheWellPodcast.com. We may feature you in our social media or in a future episode. Please share this episode with another leader and follow us on your favorite podcast app. Then journey over to DrinkFromTheWellPodcast.com for transcripts, show notes, and all the wisdom in today’s episode. We’re always here to refresh, inspire, and entertain you anytime you need a Drink From The Well. Drink From The Well is an original production of Twin Flames Studios and our magical team, including Alayna Carley, Darek Blackburn, Nadia Cox, Stephen George, and me, Tina Dietz.

About our Guest Experts – Comedic Arts at Work

Alicia Dattner is a standup comedian who has performed with Maria Bamford, Ali Wong, Moshe Kasher, Arj Barker, Kate Willett, and many more luminaries. She did her first standup set at 18 and graduated from Hampshire College with a degree in standup comedy and filmmaking. She leads storytelling and comedy workshops around the world, coaches international speaking clients 1-1, and directs solo shows. Dattner has also written a parody of David Allen’s book Getting Things Done called Getting Shit Done that became an international number-one best-selling book on Amazon.

Jeff Civillico is a corporate entertainer, comedian, and philanthropist. has been a Las Vegas Headliner with Caesars Entertainment since 2009. As the youngest Headliner in Las Vegas to produce and star in his own show, he has performed over 5,000 shows at The LINQ, The Flamingo, and The Paris Hotel & Casino. He is the founder of the charity Win-Win Entertainment. Win Win Charity brings smiles to children, patients and staff in hospitals nationwide by arranging in-person and virtual hospital visits from professional entertainers who donate their time and talent.

Meghann Conter uses her power to connect, elevate, entertain, and celebrate extraordinary women as the CEO of The Dames, a global community designed specifically for women running and leading 6 and 7-figure businesses. Meghann believes that anything can be accomplished through fearless collaboration, laughter, fun, and love. Once a burnt-out, over-networked CEO, she is now THE global ultra connector for women who thrive in the space where self-worth and net-worth align.

Episode Featured Resources

Leaders’ Discussion Guide – Comedic Arts at Work:

How to prepare to lead this discussion session with your team:
  1. Ask your team to bring their favorite joke (could be a knock knock joke, dad joke, pun, etc.) to the discussion session as an icebreaker.
Questions to discuss WITH your team about comedy in the workplace:
  1. Have them listen to the episode first to create common ground and context for the conversation.
  2. What ways are we currently fostering a space of belonging in the workplace, or are we at all?
  3. Would you like to feel like there’s more permission at work to be more of your authentic self? What are some of the concerns or barriers that you perceive? It may be worth revisiting episode 1 – The Leadership Paradox of Psychological Safety.
  4. ADVANCED: What initiatives or activities would you suggest to strengthen the sense of belonging within our team?

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