You woke up feeling great this morning, but as you’ve completed projects and spoken with colleagues, you find yourself running out of steam. You feel burdened, anxious, or drained. Something is off. Why? You may be experiencing the effects of “emotional velcro.”

As we interact with others throughout the day, the emotions we encounter leave a residue on us because we are by nature empathic beings. Let’s say, for example, that your spouse has a stressful morning and you’re wondering how their afternoon is going or one of your team members feels stuck about an upcoming project and takes you into their confidence, seeking advice. Those emotions aren’t yours, but they can stick to you like velcro and color every interaction you have for the rest of the day. Emotional velcro has a compounding effect because when we are weighed down by it, we also leave our own emotional velcro behind for others to bear. If left unaddressed, emotional velcro hinders our ability to effectively communicate, influences our team’s emotional state and, ultimately, diminishes our leadership ability.

The good news is we can clear the emotional velcro we pick up and reclaim our energy while still being empathetic leaders. By clarifying our emotions, determining a strategy to process them and intentionally choosing our emotional states, we successfully manage our own emotions and maximize our emotional elasticity (our ability to emotionally adapt and engage). Furthermore, clearing our own emotional velcro ensures we continuously communicate with transparency and integrity, which means we do not transfer any emotional velcro to our team. As we lead by example, we contribute to creating a culture and workplace of psychological safety for our teams.

In order to accomplish these goals, there are a number of strategies we can use. Here are three to consider:

1. Self-evaluate.

Ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way? Is there anything I am carrying that is not mine to bear?” Distinguishing if an emotion is yours or not is sometimes enough to release the velcro for us. In other situations, what someone else is going through may trigger some emotions of our own that may need to be readdressed. In either case, discerning what the source of the emotional velcro is and who it belongs to can bring either immediate relief or give us an opening for an empowered next step.

2. Self-address.

Address the struggle that the interaction has uncovered by getting curious about solutions and taking action. Sometimes, the solution is that we need to talk with someone else like a coach, counselor or other trusted source. Other times, we simply need to combat the issue with the truth about ourselves or the situation.

3. Shift your emotional state.

We have the power to learn to intentionally shift our emotional states. Just like learning to read or catch a ball, this is a skill set that simply takes practice — and that practice is not something most of us have consciously had before. Intentionally shifting does not mean denying what we are feeling or not caring about others; rather, it means consciously choosing and embodying an emotional state so we are not weighed down by emotional velcro. Embodiment techniques vary, and ample research exists explaining why they can be so effective. According to a study from the University of Tennessee at Knoxville, when we smile, it can actually help us feel happier. We can also use simple vocal techniques and “power poses” to release the stress we are feeling.

Engaging in this process of self-evaluating, self-addressing and shifting maximizes our emotional elasticity and brings more psychological safety to ourselves and the people around us as we lead by example. We may not be stress-free and revitalized overnight, but every time we “reset,” we are able to shift our emotional state more easily and more quickly. This allows us to establish deeper, more authentic connections with our team, be more present and pour into them from a place of wholeness, instead of scarcity. Psychologically safe workplaces begin with leadership. Shed your emotional velcro and see what happens.

Read and watch more Frequently Asked Questions about Audiobooks and benefit from our expertise, or Contact Us for more information and forthright advice about producing, distributing, and profiting from Audiobooks. Plus, download our Vocal Leadership Workout to develop and refine your the most influential tool you have — your voice!

What most surprised you, or what do you still want to know? Let us know your thoughts below!

About Tina Dietz:

Tina Dietz is an award-winning and internationally acclaimed speaker, audiobook publisher, podcast producer, and vocal leadership expert whose work and shows have been featured on media outlets including ABC, NBC, CBS, The Wall Street Journal and Chicago Tribune, Inc.com, and Forbes. She’s been named one of the top podcasters for entrepreneurs by INC.com, and Tina’s company, Twin Flames Studios, re-imagines thought leadership through podcasting and audiobooks for experts, executives, and founders.